LIVE TO MOST OF THE TRI-COUNTY AREA (EXCEPT GRIDLEY) THE CHICO NEWS REPORT AT
FIVE. TODAY'S TOP STORY IS ONE OF POLICE CORRUPTION AND BRUTALITY ON INTERSTATE
99.
MOTORIST DURHAM P. O'REILLY (WHO HAD NOT BEEN DRINKING) WAS PULLED OVER AND STRIP-SEARCHED BY
AN OVER-ZEALOUS OFFICER McCULLOUGH C. CHAINSAW.
THE PORKIN' FUZZ OFFICER BELIEVED THAT THERE WERE DRUGS
STASHED IN THE 54 YEAR OLD TRUCKER'S COLON,
BUT THE CAVITY SEARCH REVEALED ONLY SEVERAL MINOR COMPANY HYGIENE VIOLATIONS.
THE LONG DISTANCE POTATO HAULER WAS NOT CITED FOR THE
SEVERAL WARTS WITH HAIR LENGTH EXCEEDING ONE INCH OR FOR DIRTY JOCKEY SHORTS
BUT HE WAS SEVERELY SUNBURNED AFTER THE NINETY MINUTE SEARCH. HE WAS ALSO
MISSING SOME CHANGE FROM HIS RIGHT FRONT POCKET FOR WHICH HE IS SUING THE BUTTE COUNTY
SHERIFF'S DEPT. FOR 14 MILLION DOLLARS.
CHANNEL 12 NEWS
GROVER DUDSMORE REPORTING.
HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU BEEN SAWING YOUR LIMBS OFF ON A
CIRCULAR SAW, WHEN YOU EXPERIENCE LIGHT-HEADEDNESS OR SHORTNESS OF BREATH DUE
TO BLOOD LOSS?
WELL, ONE NORTH COUNTY
WOMAN IS TAKING HER
COMPLAINT ALL THE WAY UP TO THE SUPREME COURT. SHE IS SUING SEARS FOR SELLING
TABLE SAWS WITHOUT PROPER WARNING LABELS. ACCORDING TO MRS. WORSTNIGHTMARE THE
SAWS SHOULD CARRY THE WARNING: "DO NOT USE TO TRIM HAIR OR TOENAILS--MAY
CAUSE DEATH."
WE WISH HER THE BEST IN HER SUIT, WHICH IS HER TWELFTH TO
DATE.
KHSL TV NEWS AT 5
