Warnings and disclaimers: To all new and returning blog readers (sticky)

I needed to make this a permanent sticky post, so that it would be the first thing anyone sees when they visit here, a kind of a heads up of what to expect before stumbling across something willy-nilly. Also, I'd like to add that if something in here offends you or creeps you the fuck out, PLEASE talk to me about it, leave a comment or send me an email. I'd rather have a discussion than lose a friend over something I've said that may be incorrect or offensive. 

Here's the standard disclaimer:

Since this blog functions as a multi-purpose repository for anything and everything I might write down, it will from time to time contain highly opinionated and deeply personal items that readers may find objectionable. I myself find some of the things which have migrated through my consciousness and into my writings over the years to be objectionable and immature, if not outright obscene. 

For instance, I write down all my dreams, in as accurate detail as I can recollect. Some of these dreams include real life characters who might be friends or relatives. <gasp!> 

I will, on occasion, use it as a notebook, where I record events or impressions of things going on in my life. Often, I'll include stories of events that occurred in real life, along with descriptions of real people, and weave them into the dream narratives to give context or background. The overlap of real life stories and dream narration may occasionally cause confusion, and one may be left wondering if the event occurred in reality, in a dream or in some conflation of the two.

In the event that you are reading and stumble across your name, either in a dream journal entry or a real-life event that I have written about, just know this: I am relating the story because it -- you -- made an impression on me.

The dreams are totally out of my control, so I'll claim innocence of malfeasance on that. I can't choose the programming that my subconscious decides to entertain me with at night. 

As for real life accounts that may differ from your recollection, I can only say that I'm not an actual journalist. I'm a person writing about things from a creatively subjective viewpoint, and as such, I invoke artistic license frequently.

I hope to not offend anyone or give reason for upset, but it is likely that eventually, if you read long enough, you will find something to disagree strongly with. Although I really can't prevent that from happening in all instances, I don't go out of my way to insult or demean my friends and relatives.

But if seeing your name in print for some reason makes you feel litigious, please contact me, and I'll scrub all references to your name and replace them with a pseudonym. (But you and I will both know that it was you I was referring to.)

At this point, I don't believe there are enough people who read this blog, or care enough about my perception of them and how it might be documented in these written accounts, to warrant concern. Although it is technically a public blog, there is not much chance of it getting public attention. My two or three occasional readers have not chimed in and told me to knock it off with the name dropping and personal anecdotes...yet.

The reason I've written this long-winded introductory warning is because there was one person whom I directed here to show them something I'd written, and when they saw it, they freaked out, and now we're not friends. I hope that doesn't happen too often, but I'm likely to say more things in the future that have that potential, so be forewarned. I have a Tourette-like condition where I just blab out whatever is on my mind, and I'm sometimes not aware of the effect this might have on others.

That's it. This was just a cautionary word for those who have not yet been unlucky enough to find that they were the subject of one of my entries. My aim is not to offend, embarrass or hurt anyone's feelings, but I'm also not wanting to tip-toe around and self-censor at every turn. You understand...don't you? OK. Proceed at your own risk.

 

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The reviews are in:

 

 

"Sick."

"A cringe-worthy embarrassment to sentient beings everywhere."

"When someone told him, 'I wish you would write a book,' it was clearly meant to shut him up and keep him from speaking these things out loud. 'I wish you could write a book...so I could burn it' is the complete thought there."

"Trash. Just a bunch of self-indulgent gobbledygook with a smattering of obscenity, told by an oafish boor who is unfit to punctuate preschool literature."

"Well, I liked it. I mean, some parts, that is. OK, I never really read it. It got kind of repetitive. And not enough sex." 

"He had me, then he lost me. Then I got curious and picked it up again, but I immediately wished hadn't. I regret every minute I spent in that dank cistern of horrors that attempts to pass itself off as a human brain."

 

All of the reviewers wished to remain anonymous. They were compensated for their reviews, although, not enough, apparently.

Alright, those are fictional reviews. I have to resort to that kind of thing because no one ever comments anymore. I think my one or two occasional readers are afraid I'll launch an all-out assault on them for critiquing my (for lack of a better word) work. Please, by all means, critique away. I'm waiting, fingers at the ready on my keyboard.