MEMORANDUM
TO: Mominator, momski, the big "M"
FROM: Andrew, Droody, Hoody alias Dogbone aka "the
weirdo"
SUBJECT: The state of affairs in Chico, Northern Cal
Hi, hello. Howzit goin'? I suppose Steve, that old bag of
farts, is there and reading over your shoulder right now, so I'll be breif. And
cryptic. And sarcastic. I'll try not to ramble, but you know I seldom get on
one of these things (typewriter) so JHGFJHFG
Hey, who left that pile of gibberish right in the
middle of the page, how rude, well, where was I?
Oh, OK. Yeah, well, um, things are fine. For now. I guess. I
don't know.
I have talked to my landlord and he says he doesn't have any
news about the building, but that when his other project is completed and the
county is done inspecting it, then it will be "party time". However,
if my building is red tagged, I am out. But he doesn't have any other plans for
the building, blah, blah, etc.
I have checked into the real estate market in Chico, talked
to agents, mortgage brokers and homeowners and looked at quite a few houses.
With backyards, and detached garages and bathrooms and kitchens, the works.
There is a lot out there in the 75,000 to 85,000 range. I have determined that
I cannot afford anything higher, and that I really cannot afford that without
getting a roommate to defray some of the costs.
The ideal thing would be like, a girlfriend who had a killer
job and could afford to pay half ... and I'd like to eat ice cream sandwiches
on the moon, too.
I have been in a prolonged period of disinterest of the
opposite sex and relationships and activities in general. I work 25 hours a
week at the Camcorder Repair place, do the occasional screenprinting ~ in my
spare time, walk the dog, talk on the radio, listen to the scanner, watch TV,
drink beer and on the weekends rent about ten videos. I have grown fat and lazy,
and that is the story of my no girlfriend, no success, no money situation.
I like my life as it is. Too much change makes me nervous. I
am the epitome of status quo, with the occasional tendency to drift downstream. I'd
like to live upstream, but I don't want to move my tail vigorously enough to
make the trip. I am like a big fat lazy salmon saying, "Ho hum, I wish that
helicopter would come and drop me off over yonder, upriver." But at least
I'm not a fuckin' bum. That bothers me. Fuckin' bums. No responsibility, crack
smokin', no job, probably resort to stealing, kind of bums. But whose to say
what different circumstances might have done to me.
Please excuse this sorry-assed excuse for a letter, just
getting bitter is all. You know, this paper here is a piece of crap, it didn't
want to go in. I had to force it, and ram it, and it was a pretty lame piece of
paper to begin with. It was on the bottom of a bunch of other papers, and it was the last piece of
blank paper, so I had to use it. It was wrinkly, dog-eared and thin, you know,
inferior paper.
But the situation being what it is with trees and the environment and all, I should be grateful
to have this paper at all, and should stop wasting resources by denigrating it.
I can't help it. I have low self-esteem, so I pick on things which I deem to be
of even lower worth than myself. Is anyone keeping track? Are all of my shortcomings
being tallied up, and just what is the penalty for abusing a piece of paper?
...
well, that was pointless and yet boring.
I had to stop, and take time out of writing, to answer the phone. It
was a potential customer, so I gave her a quote. Three quotes as
a matter of fact, in case the first two didn't work out for her. For free, cause that's the kind of guy I am. I did some big
election signs just recently, and they turned out pretty nice.
The guy who ordered them even tipped me $15 because he was
so happy with them. I think he'd never seen screenprinting before. They did
look nice, though, all red, white and blue with big bold letters saying
"Elect Bev Payne -- Assessor."
That was labor day week-end. Hence, the
name "labor" day. I like working. I hate getting started, but once
into it I enjoy doing it, until I run into problems, then I cuss and throw
things. The key is to keep the windows shut and throw unimportant objects at
other unimportant objects and then no one's the wiser. My stinginess works
against my destructive tendencies to my advantage.
Well, enough pop psychology,
I have to get crackin'. Get these videos back to the store before they turn
into pumpkins. If you have any videos you could recommend, I am at that stage
where I have rented everything with a slick looking cover and am moving on to
other criteria: plot, actors, cinematography, etc.
I think video stores should
have memberships with unlimited access for a nominal fee. As it is, I frequent multiple stores because it gets embarrassing
seeing the same clerk 5 weeks in a row. I always rent the 4 for $4 or 5 for $5
and since this is my only form of paid entertainment (I don't even have cable)
it is justifiable. It's sick, but justifiable.
So, anyway, I'm fine, holding
out behind this stump here, hoping the currents don't force me downstream, or
force me to try to swim upstream anytime too soon. I like this stump, the rent
is low, who knows how long it will last. I appreciate your being there for me
and offering to help when things looked bad.
I really need to get on my feet a bit more, though, before I
can seriously consider house payments of $650 to $750 per month. Or find a
housemate that is compatible with my lifestyle, perhaps on the moon ...
anywhee, got to go, paper's low.
Talk to ya soon, love and all the best, C-Ya, Bye ....
Andrew
P.S.
La la la la ...
