The 1st Principal of Shower Dynamics as applied
to showering bodies in a 9 to 5 configuration:
If you intend to shower from 9 to 5 you can (and do) generate
phone calls and appointments with up to 99.9% certainty—simply by removing your
clothing, stepping into the hot (or mild whatever the temp of your choice)
water and lathering up.
At this point, the phone will almost always certainly ring, or
someone will come to the door—or both. The dog will bark, you will cuss, and the
birds will sing, and bells will ring.
The only possibility of this not occurring would be in the
event that one were actually trying to prove this theorem by generating
heretofore unexpected phone calls. Persons of this caliber are fools, basing
many of life’s decisions on the spurious divinations of hairballs, potato
entrails and other random chance erosion/sediment patterns.
