Ode to the Black Knight

The skateboard of death is every mother's wish, as she purchases the $20 skateboard from the department store, not knowing, not dreaming of the epic falls onto the black asphalt, scraping limb and leg into tattered sticks, that would ensue as a direct effect of buying said evil wheeled board. No one knew that EVERY single time you ride it you DIE!

Bad Evil Skateboard of Death. They didn't expect you to live long enough for your wood screws to pull out of the board, as was bound to happen over time in the event that you didn't already die from a self-inflicted launch after hitting a small rock or crack in the sidewalk with your inappropriately small, hard clay wheels. Stops on a dime. Liter-a lee.

The ship that launched a thousand faces. They all went down. Down on the pavement, the gutter and ultimately, the trash, where some angry kid threw the miscreant device, until such time it became available on Ebay for more than 20x what it sold for originally.