Act One, scene 1
The curtain opens on an alley scene. Two bums are leaning seated comfortably with their backs against a red, black and white collage which is supposed to remind everyone of the old style building backsides so common in the inner city. There is a spray painted dumpster nearby which lays claim to ownership by seven local street gangs. Trash, overflowing from the dumpster, covers the surrounding area like a blanket of snow. As one glances around the scene, from the street light in the center stage to the dumpster in the back ground to the bums at center stage right it becomes clear that this is a very average alley except in one respect. The bums are watching a 35 inch color T.V. with a remote control and four speaker surround sound. They are playing a casual game of cribbage and commenting on every third news story. On the television the newscaster is being shown dancing topless on the newsdesk, squatting occasionally to pick up another story. The bums simultaneously turn their heads to the T.V. screen and then back away in disinterest. Sex means nothing to them.
Bud (Bum1)
Eye doen know bout chew but eye cain stain lookit her no mower.
Bartholomew (Bum 2)
Ewe got that rye-t. Warnst in a wile i gitst t'wherest Ike 'ud gista 'bout puke. She's worse...
(Bum 1) Way Worst!
Bum 2) Got to be...
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