Yesterday was Sharon's birthday. I got her a pizza and a birthday cake with candles, and did the silly singing. While that was nice, she still did not get her birthday wish, which was to get out of her bed and go into the kitchen, even if only for a 10 minutes.
The fact is that we can't get her into her wheelchair without a Hoyer lift or we risk injury and falling. The lift barely fits in the room and is difficult to maneuver on the carpet. We have never tried this procedure and it must be executed perfectly or the pain of having her feet down too long will make it not worthwhile.
"Blah, blah, blah--excuses!" I can hear her thinking. She has not been out of that room (except to go to the ER) since Feb 14. Before that it was Christmas.
So, how do I feel right now, as I sit in front of my family counselor's office, waiting 20 minutes after our appointment time, to see if she will even show up or call? Um, really, not too bad. Other people can screw up too. And other people have waited longer than me for something that didn't happen.
My wife is at home, hopefully sleeping away this afternoon's grumpiness with me. I will now drive to Oroville and pick up the food she wanted, from the restaurant she likes, and this evening will hopefully be less stressful.
Sure, I have my ups and downs. Mostly, the downs are how I perceive it. It could be worse.
Monday, August 15, 2011
Journal entry for August 15, 2011 (Sharon's birthday, excuses and a late family therapist)
Hi, I'm Andrew, AKA Hoodyup the Evil Caregiver, and I approved this blog post. I may not have been in my right mind at the time, but what's done is done. I stand by my sins. Eppur si muove.
I started this blog as a way to vent my frustrations with life, the universe and everything (not the book by Douglas Adams; that was quite good, actually).
My seemingly charmed life took a turn in 2004 when my wife Sharon was diagnosed with MS. This blog documents the fallout and revisits the past, as well as chronicling my dreams and rants throughout the years.
Be warned - explicit language and content that runs the gamut can be found in these posts, which describe personal events, both real and those dreamed up by my overactive nocturnal psyche.
Also, I use real names whenever possible, so if you see a post with your name on it, it probably refers to you. Unless, of course, you don't know me, in which case it is purely coincidental.
Enjoy your visit. Comment, if you so desire, or lurk privately. This blog can be your guilty pleasure (or displeasure).
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I've changed my comments settings to allow for anyone to comment. All comments are welcome, even spineless potshots from anonymous posters. Please, by all means, give me the tongue lashing I so richly deserve. I promise not to hunt you down and melt your keyboard with my plasma cannon. I won't, however, promise not to pout and make that face you can't stand.