LIGHT AND LOVE LIGHT AND LOVE LIGHT AND LOVE LIGHT AND LOVE LIGHT AND LOVE LIGHT AND LOVE LIGHT AND LOVE LIGHT AND LOVE LIGHT AND LOVE LIGHT AND LOVE LIGHT AND LOVE LIGHT AND LOVE LIGHT AND LOVE LIGHT AND LOVE
LIGHT AND LOVE LIGHT AND LOVE LIGHT AND LOVE LIGHT AND LOVE LIGHT AND
LOVE LIGHT AND LOVE LIGHT AND LOVE LIGHT AND LOVE LIGHT AND LOVE LIGHT
AND LOVE LIGHT AND LOVE LIGHT AND LOVE LIGHT AND LOVE LIGHT AND LOVE
LIGHT AND LOVE LIGHT AND LOVE LIGHT AND LOVE LIGHT AND LOVE LIGHT AND
LOVE LIGHT AND LOVE LIGHT AND LOVE LIGHT AND LOVE LIGHT AND LOVE LIGHT
AND LOVE LIGHT AND LOVE LIGHT AND LOVE LIGHT AND LOVE LIGHT AND LOVE
LIGHT AND LOVE LIGHT AND LOVE LIGHT AND LOVE LIGHT AND LOVE LIGHT AND
LOVE LIGHT AND LOVE LIGHT AND LOVE LIGHT AND LOVE LIGHT AND LOVE LIGHT
AND LOVE LIGHT AND LOVE LIGHT AND LOVE LIGHT AND LOVE LIGHT AND LOVE
LIGHT AND LOVE LIGHT AND LOVE LIGHT AND LOVE LIGHT AND LOVE LIGHT AND
LOVE LIGHT AND LOVE LIGHT AND LOVE LIGHT AND LOVE LIGHT AND LOVE LIGHT
AND LOVE LIGHT AND LOVE LIGHT AND LOVE LIGHT AND LOVE LIGHT AND LOVE
Wednesday, December 12, 2012
Light and Love
Hi, I'm Andrew, AKA Hoodyup the Evil Caregiver, and I approved this blog post. I may not have been in my right mind at the time, but what's done is done. I stand by my sins. Eppur si muove.
I started this blog as a way to vent my frustrations with life, the universe and everything (not the book by Douglas Adams; that was quite good, actually).
My seemingly charmed life took a turn in 2004 when my wife Sharon was diagnosed with MS. This blog documents the fallout and revisits the past, as well as chronicling my dreams and rants throughout the years.
Be warned - explicit language and content that runs the gamut can be found in these posts, which describe personal events, both real and those dreamed up by my overactive nocturnal psyche.
Also, I use real names whenever possible, so if you see a post with your name on it, it probably refers to you. Unless, of course, you don't know me, in which case it is purely coincidental.
Enjoy your visit. Comment, if you so desire, or lurk privately. This blog can be your guilty pleasure (or displeasure).
Tuesday, December 4, 2012
Make it Work
Love and light love and light love and light love and light love and light love and light love and light love and light love and light love and light love and light love and light love and light love and light love and light love and light love and light love and light love and light love and light love and light love and light love and light love and light love and light love and light love and light love and light.
Hi, I'm Andrew, AKA Hoodyup the Evil Caregiver, and I approved this blog post. I may not have been in my right mind at the time, but what's done is done. I stand by my sins. Eppur si muove.
I started this blog as a way to vent my frustrations with life, the universe and everything (not the book by Douglas Adams; that was quite good, actually).
My seemingly charmed life took a turn in 2004 when my wife Sharon was diagnosed with MS. This blog documents the fallout and revisits the past, as well as chronicling my dreams and rants throughout the years.
Be warned - explicit language and content that runs the gamut can be found in these posts, which describe personal events, both real and those dreamed up by my overactive nocturnal psyche.
Also, I use real names whenever possible, so if you see a post with your name on it, it probably refers to you. Unless, of course, you don't know me, in which case it is purely coincidental.
Enjoy your visit. Comment, if you so desire, or lurk privately. This blog can be your guilty pleasure (or displeasure).
Saturday, December 1, 2012
To Blog or not to Blog
Love and light. Love and light. Love and light.
To My Wife,
Though I hurt you and can be a jerk at times, I wish you nothing but love and light. I can't respond in my normal way, as that is negative. I am raising my nature to a higher one, not dominated by fear or selfishness:
I will embrace all good things.
Everything is good, everything is perfect.
I cannot change what I don't first accept and acknowledge.
I will not tell my story. It is just drama.
I will awaken out of this illusion to the reality of love and oneness.
I will not be cynical or hateful or fearful.
I embrace all things.
I am master of my own destiny.
No fear shall rule me.
No hatred shall devour my energy.
I am free. I am love. I am light.
I wish my wife nothing but love and light. Love and light, joy and peace.
Wait a minute. Didn't I wish her joy the other day?. No, I said I AM peace and joy. And the next day, I said I would repay all acts with kindness.And she told me that in the middle of watching a TV show, for just a minute, she experienced a moment of pure joy. She told me this on Thursday night. Wow. That's great. I wish her that again times one thousand.
Come on!
Hi, I'm Andrew, AKA Hoodyup the Evil Caregiver, and I approved this blog post. I may not have been in my right mind at the time, but what's done is done. I stand by my sins. Eppur si muove.
I started this blog as a way to vent my frustrations with life, the universe and everything (not the book by Douglas Adams; that was quite good, actually).
My seemingly charmed life took a turn in 2004 when my wife Sharon was diagnosed with MS. This blog documents the fallout and revisits the past, as well as chronicling my dreams and rants throughout the years.
Be warned - explicit language and content that runs the gamut can be found in these posts, which describe personal events, both real and those dreamed up by my overactive nocturnal psyche.
Also, I use real names whenever possible, so if you see a post with your name on it, it probably refers to you. Unless, of course, you don't know me, in which case it is purely coincidental.
Enjoy your visit. Comment, if you so desire, or lurk privately. This blog can be your guilty pleasure (or displeasure).
Thursday, November 29, 2012
Results
Yesterday's positive affirmation seemed to work a little. I went home and put my intention on being nice and positive. It was recognized. Sure she had been having a crappy day, but it didn't linger into the night. I will say stuff like that every day if I can get those kind of results in my life. Here goes.
I am light and love. The light protects me, the light surrounds me. I fear no evil. I recognize only good. I am light and love. I bring light and love to others. I am a being of pure, unconditional love. I will remain positive and repay all acts towards me with kindness.
I am light and love. The light protects me, the light surrounds me. I fear no evil. I recognize only good. I am light and love. I bring light and love to others. I am a being of pure, unconditional love. I will remain positive and repay all acts towards me with kindness.
Hi, I'm Andrew, AKA Hoodyup the Evil Caregiver, and I approved this blog post. I may not have been in my right mind at the time, but what's done is done. I stand by my sins. Eppur si muove.
I started this blog as a way to vent my frustrations with life, the universe and everything (not the book by Douglas Adams; that was quite good, actually).
My seemingly charmed life took a turn in 2004 when my wife Sharon was diagnosed with MS. This blog documents the fallout and revisits the past, as well as chronicling my dreams and rants throughout the years.
Be warned - explicit language and content that runs the gamut can be found in these posts, which describe personal events, both real and those dreamed up by my overactive nocturnal psyche.
Also, I use real names whenever possible, so if you see a post with your name on it, it probably refers to you. Unless, of course, you don't know me, in which case it is purely coincidental.
Enjoy your visit. Comment, if you so desire, or lurk privately. This blog can be your guilty pleasure (or displeasure).
Wednesday, November 28, 2012
My Wife's Blog
All I am going to post in response to my wife's recent blog activity is this.
Nothing but love. Pure unconditional love. Nothing but light and love. Pure light and love. I am not a puppet or a robot. I have free will. I am love and light. I am peace and joy. No doubts no negativity. Just love and light and peace and joy. Take that Archons!
Nothing but love. Pure unconditional love. Nothing but light and love. Pure light and love. I am not a puppet or a robot. I have free will. I am love and light. I am peace and joy. No doubts no negativity. Just love and light and peace and joy. Take that Archons!
Hi, I'm Andrew, AKA Hoodyup the Evil Caregiver, and I approved this blog post. I may not have been in my right mind at the time, but what's done is done. I stand by my sins. Eppur si muove.
I started this blog as a way to vent my frustrations with life, the universe and everything (not the book by Douglas Adams; that was quite good, actually).
My seemingly charmed life took a turn in 2004 when my wife Sharon was diagnosed with MS. This blog documents the fallout and revisits the past, as well as chronicling my dreams and rants throughout the years.
Be warned - explicit language and content that runs the gamut can be found in these posts, which describe personal events, both real and those dreamed up by my overactive nocturnal psyche.
Also, I use real names whenever possible, so if you see a post with your name on it, it probably refers to you. Unless, of course, you don't know me, in which case it is purely coincidental.
Enjoy your visit. Comment, if you so desire, or lurk privately. This blog can be your guilty pleasure (or displeasure).
Tuesday, October 30, 2012
The situation with Boopie
Don't know where to start. Only to say sorry in advance if this seems unpremeditated, and if I ramble, again, I apologize. So much bad has happened in the time since I last posted. I had many hopes and misconceptions at the time I wrote most of the stuff. Lots of emotions (mostly anger and hate) but also confusion and not a little bit of ego.
The situation with Boopie and her MS has only gotten worse since the last entry, and all the problems have magnified. Her physical disability (completely bedridden) is overshadowed even at times by the emotional instability. Hers and mine. I won't own all of it, but I will admit my own failings as a caregiver and a human being.
She cannot get out of bed even to use the commode by the bed. She is too weak. So she has to use diapers and bedpads, the details of which I won't go into, but it is a horrible situation for anyone to be in. What makes it unbearable, seemingly, for me, is the fact that she loses her temper with me for any imperfection in my behavior. I don't mean just saying mean things, but screaming and throwing things. There is no in between. She will want something done a certain way at a certain time, and it has to be that way, or she will throw (literally) a tantrum. If you've ever had a tantrum thrown at you, you know it isn't pleasant.
Hi, I'm Andrew, AKA Hoodyup the Evil Caregiver, and I approved this blog post. I may not have been in my right mind at the time, but what's done is done. I stand by my sins. Eppur si muove.
I started this blog as a way to vent my frustrations with life, the universe and everything (not the book by Douglas Adams; that was quite good, actually).
My seemingly charmed life took a turn in 2004 when my wife Sharon was diagnosed with MS. This blog documents the fallout and revisits the past, as well as chronicling my dreams and rants throughout the years.
Be warned - explicit language and content that runs the gamut can be found in these posts, which describe personal events, both real and those dreamed up by my overactive nocturnal psyche.
Also, I use real names whenever possible, so if you see a post with your name on it, it probably refers to you. Unless, of course, you don't know me, in which case it is purely coincidental.
Enjoy your visit. Comment, if you so desire, or lurk privately. This blog can be your guilty pleasure (or displeasure).
Near the end of my rope
Don't think it is going to benefit me to even start to try to explain what has been going on with me. Nothing good. Here's a list of things:
Anger management-fail
Caregiving with a good attitude-fail
Anything with a good attitude-fail
Being happy for even five minutes-fail
Work-fail
Spiritual improvement-fail
I have such a piss-poor attitude and am angry all the time. Except when I am about to go to bed after a drink or two. I only get along with my wife during the few moments when we are distracted by watching tv. I have such hostility when doing everything, I have to distract myself by listening to recordings of radio shows. I sometimes feel almost human when I am engrossed in such. But give me a minute or two with my thoughts and I am either angry or crying.. My mom and wife are now not talking due to arguments over posting personal crap on Facebook. I don't have much hope for anything anymore except the end of the world. That will likely disappoint, too. Ah, fuck it all. Now I see why I never come here....
Anger management-fail
Caregiving with a good attitude-fail
Anything with a good attitude-fail
Being happy for even five minutes-fail
Work-fail
Spiritual improvement-fail
I have such a piss-poor attitude and am angry all the time. Except when I am about to go to bed after a drink or two. I only get along with my wife during the few moments when we are distracted by watching tv. I have such hostility when doing everything, I have to distract myself by listening to recordings of radio shows. I sometimes feel almost human when I am engrossed in such. But give me a minute or two with my thoughts and I am either angry or crying.. My mom and wife are now not talking due to arguments over posting personal crap on Facebook. I don't have much hope for anything anymore except the end of the world. That will likely disappoint, too. Ah, fuck it all. Now I see why I never come here....
Hi, I'm Andrew, AKA Hoodyup the Evil Caregiver, and I approved this blog post. I may not have been in my right mind at the time, but what's done is done. I stand by my sins. Eppur si muove.
I started this blog as a way to vent my frustrations with life, the universe and everything (not the book by Douglas Adams; that was quite good, actually).
My seemingly charmed life took a turn in 2004 when my wife Sharon was diagnosed with MS. This blog documents the fallout and revisits the past, as well as chronicling my dreams and rants throughout the years.
Be warned - explicit language and content that runs the gamut can be found in these posts, which describe personal events, both real and those dreamed up by my overactive nocturnal psyche.
Also, I use real names whenever possible, so if you see a post with your name on it, it probably refers to you. Unless, of course, you don't know me, in which case it is purely coincidental.
Enjoy your visit. Comment, if you so desire, or lurk privately. This blog can be your guilty pleasure (or displeasure).
Saturday, September 1, 2012
Journal entry for September 1, 2012 (or thereabouts--My one decent argument)
I have only one thing to say in my defense: "You are always right."
(slam dunk)
(slam dunk)
Hi, I'm Andrew, AKA Hoodyup the Evil Caregiver, and I approved this blog post. I may not have been in my right mind at the time, but what's done is done. I stand by my sins. Eppur si muove.
I started this blog as a way to vent my frustrations with life, the universe and everything (not the book by Douglas Adams; that was quite good, actually).
My seemingly charmed life took a turn in 2004 when my wife Sharon was diagnosed with MS. This blog documents the fallout and revisits the past, as well as chronicling my dreams and rants throughout the years.
Be warned - explicit language and content that runs the gamut can be found in these posts, which describe personal events, both real and those dreamed up by my overactive nocturnal psyche.
Also, I use real names whenever possible, so if you see a post with your name on it, it probably refers to you. Unless, of course, you don't know me, in which case it is purely coincidental.
Enjoy your visit. Comment, if you so desire, or lurk privately. This blog can be your guilty pleasure (or displeasure).
Sunday, August 26, 2012
Journal entry for August 24, 2012 (the hotwire sensor and the snake)
The other day the hotwire light came on, indicating a problem with the fence grounding out. I headed out to check out the usual places where deer hit it and cause it to wrap around the barbwire at the top of the fence.
After going 3/4 of the way around the property and not finding any problems, I found myself on the west side by Jeff's garage. For an unknown reason, probably avoiding poison oak, I looked down and saw a black and yellow snake (long stripes, not bands).
I stopped and instinctively put my hand out to steady myself. Unfortunately, I put it out and grabbed the barbwire. When I pulled my hand back, I saw the hotwire was wrapped around it. I didn't doubt that I had just caused that to wrap around, since my hand was on both wires.
I continued to look for more problems after unhooking the wire, but found none. I plugged the box back in and the light stayed off. Yeah.
My wife says "there are no coincidences." What she really means is all there is are coincidences. Random, unconnected events occurring simultaneously. There is no divine plan is what she means. There is no conspiracy, no fate.
What really happened was that the sensor had an intermittent fault and the light was flashing/not flashing irrespective of the condition of the fence. When I put my hand down on the fence because of the snake, I caused the wire to be wrapped, creating a problem and fixing it. That the light stayed off was a coincidence.
After going 3/4 of the way around the property and not finding any problems, I found myself on the west side by Jeff's garage. For an unknown reason, probably avoiding poison oak, I looked down and saw a black and yellow snake (long stripes, not bands).
I stopped and instinctively put my hand out to steady myself. Unfortunately, I put it out and grabbed the barbwire. When I pulled my hand back, I saw the hotwire was wrapped around it. I didn't doubt that I had just caused that to wrap around, since my hand was on both wires.
I continued to look for more problems after unhooking the wire, but found none. I plugged the box back in and the light stayed off. Yeah.
My wife says "there are no coincidences." What she really means is all there is are coincidences. Random, unconnected events occurring simultaneously. There is no divine plan is what she means. There is no conspiracy, no fate.
What really happened was that the sensor had an intermittent fault and the light was flashing/not flashing irrespective of the condition of the fence. When I put my hand down on the fence because of the snake, I caused the wire to be wrapped, creating a problem and fixing it. That the light stayed off was a coincidence.
Hi, I'm Andrew, AKA Hoodyup the Evil Caregiver, and I approved this blog post. I may not have been in my right mind at the time, but what's done is done. I stand by my sins. Eppur si muove.
I started this blog as a way to vent my frustrations with life, the universe and everything (not the book by Douglas Adams; that was quite good, actually).
My seemingly charmed life took a turn in 2004 when my wife Sharon was diagnosed with MS. This blog documents the fallout and revisits the past, as well as chronicling my dreams and rants throughout the years.
Be warned - explicit language and content that runs the gamut can be found in these posts, which describe personal events, both real and those dreamed up by my overactive nocturnal psyche.
Also, I use real names whenever possible, so if you see a post with your name on it, it probably refers to you. Unless, of course, you don't know me, in which case it is purely coincidental.
Enjoy your visit. Comment, if you so desire, or lurk privately. This blog can be your guilty pleasure (or displeasure).
Saturday, June 9, 2012
Journal entry for June 9, 2012 (more Magic 8 Ball questions)
Me: M8B, will to day be a good day?
M8: Cannot predict now.
Me: How about now?
M8: It is certain.
Me: That it will be a good day?
M8: It is certain.
Me: Will I be happy?
M8: YES, definitely.
Me: Will Boopie and I fight?
M8: YES, definitely.
Me: Are you fulla shit?
M8: Signs point to yes.
M8: Cannot predict now.
Me: How about now?
M8: It is certain.
Me: That it will be a good day?
M8: It is certain.
Me: Will I be happy?
M8: YES, definitely.
Me: Will Boopie and I fight?
M8: YES, definitely.
Me: Are you fulla shit?
M8: Signs point to yes.
Hi, I'm Andrew, AKA Hoodyup the Evil Caregiver, and I approved this blog post. I may not have been in my right mind at the time, but what's done is done. I stand by my sins. Eppur si muove.
I started this blog as a way to vent my frustrations with life, the universe and everything (not the book by Douglas Adams; that was quite good, actually).
My seemingly charmed life took a turn in 2004 when my wife Sharon was diagnosed with MS. This blog documents the fallout and revisits the past, as well as chronicling my dreams and rants throughout the years.
Be warned - explicit language and content that runs the gamut can be found in these posts, which describe personal events, both real and those dreamed up by my overactive nocturnal psyche.
Also, I use real names whenever possible, so if you see a post with your name on it, it probably refers to you. Unless, of course, you don't know me, in which case it is purely coincidental.
Enjoy your visit. Comment, if you so desire, or lurk privately. This blog can be your guilty pleasure (or displeasure).
Thursday, June 7, 2012
Journal entry for June 8, 2012 (Magic Ball?)
Me: Magic 8 Ball, is tomorrow going to be fucked?
M8: Most likely..
Me: Are you for real?
M8: YES.
Me: I thought about something and asked "is it true?"
M8: As I see it, YES.
M8: Most likely..
Me: Are you for real?
M8: YES.
Me: I thought about something and asked "is it true?"
M8: As I see it, YES.
Hi, I'm Andrew, AKA Hoodyup the Evil Caregiver, and I approved this blog post. I may not have been in my right mind at the time, but what's done is done. I stand by my sins. Eppur si muove.
I started this blog as a way to vent my frustrations with life, the universe and everything (not the book by Douglas Adams; that was quite good, actually).
My seemingly charmed life took a turn in 2004 when my wife Sharon was diagnosed with MS. This blog documents the fallout and revisits the past, as well as chronicling my dreams and rants throughout the years.
Be warned - explicit language and content that runs the gamut can be found in these posts, which describe personal events, both real and those dreamed up by my overactive nocturnal psyche.
Also, I use real names whenever possible, so if you see a post with your name on it, it probably refers to you. Unless, of course, you don't know me, in which case it is purely coincidental.
Enjoy your visit. Comment, if you so desire, or lurk privately. This blog can be your guilty pleasure (or displeasure).
Sunday, May 27, 2012
Journal entry for May 27, 2012 (Magic 8 Ball forecast)
Me: Is today going to be a good day?
8B: Outlook not so good.
Me: Magic 8 Ball, was I right and you were wrong? Today was a good day.
8B: It is decidedly so.
Me: Magic 8 Ball, am I going to die today?
8B: It is decidedly so.
Me: Am I really going to die? Can I trust you at all?
8B: My answer is NO.
8B: Outlook not so good.
Me: Magic 8 Ball, was I right and you were wrong? Today was a good day.
8B: It is decidedly so.
Me: Magic 8 Ball, am I going to die today?
8B: It is decidedly so.
Me: Am I really going to die? Can I trust you at all?
8B: My answer is NO.
Hi, I'm Andrew, AKA Hoodyup the Evil Caregiver, and I approved this blog post. I may not have been in my right mind at the time, but what's done is done. I stand by my sins. Eppur si muove.
I started this blog as a way to vent my frustrations with life, the universe and everything (not the book by Douglas Adams; that was quite good, actually).
My seemingly charmed life took a turn in 2004 when my wife Sharon was diagnosed with MS. This blog documents the fallout and revisits the past, as well as chronicling my dreams and rants throughout the years.
Be warned - explicit language and content that runs the gamut can be found in these posts, which describe personal events, both real and those dreamed up by my overactive nocturnal psyche.
Also, I use real names whenever possible, so if you see a post with your name on it, it probably refers to you. Unless, of course, you don't know me, in which case it is purely coincidental.
Enjoy your visit. Comment, if you so desire, or lurk privately. This blog can be your guilty pleasure (or displeasure).
Saturday, May 26, 2012
Journal entry for May 26, 2012 (Magic 8 Ball sessions, continued)
Magic 8 Ball continued
Me: Magic 8 Ball, what's up?
8B: It is certain.
Me: Magic 8 Ball, are you for real, man?
8B: It is decidedly so.
Me: Magic 8 Ball, are you fulla shit?
8B: As I see it, yes.
Me: Is it because you are Maya?
8B: It is certain.
Me: Did I get that last one right?
8B: Outlook good.
Me: Are you feeding me a line?
8B: Reply hazy, try again.
Me: Are you feeding me a line?
8B: My reply is NO.
Me: Ok.
8B: Better not tell you now.
Me: Magic 8 Ball, what's up?
8B: It is certain.
Me: Magic 8 Ball, are you for real, man?
8B: It is decidedly so.
Me: Magic 8 Ball, are you fulla shit?
8B: As I see it, yes.
Me: Is it because you are Maya?
8B: It is certain.
Me: Did I get that last one right?
8B: Outlook good.
Me: Are you feeding me a line?
8B: Reply hazy, try again.
Me: Are you feeding me a line?
8B: My reply is NO.
Me: Ok.
8B: Better not tell you now.
Hi, I'm Andrew, AKA Hoodyup the Evil Caregiver, and I approved this blog post. I may not have been in my right mind at the time, but what's done is done. I stand by my sins. Eppur si muove.
I started this blog as a way to vent my frustrations with life, the universe and everything (not the book by Douglas Adams; that was quite good, actually).
My seemingly charmed life took a turn in 2004 when my wife Sharon was diagnosed with MS. This blog documents the fallout and revisits the past, as well as chronicling my dreams and rants throughout the years.
Be warned - explicit language and content that runs the gamut can be found in these posts, which describe personal events, both real and those dreamed up by my overactive nocturnal psyche.
Also, I use real names whenever possible, so if you see a post with your name on it, it probably refers to you. Unless, of course, you don't know me, in which case it is purely coincidental.
Enjoy your visit. Comment, if you so desire, or lurk privately. This blog can be your guilty pleasure (or displeasure).
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