Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Near the end of my rope

Don't think it is going to benefit me to even start to try to explain what has been going on with me.  Nothing good.  Here's a list of things:

Anger management-fail
Caregiving with a good attitude-fail
Anything with a good attitude-fail
Being happy for even five minutes-fail
Work-fail
Spiritual improvement-fail

I have such a piss-poor attitude and am angry all the time.  Except when I am about to go to bed after a drink or two.  I only get along with my wife during the few moments when we are distracted by watching tv.  I have such hostility when doing everything, I have to distract myself by listening to recordings of radio shows.  I sometimes feel almost human when I am engrossed in such. But give me a minute or two with my thoughts and I am either angry or crying..  My mom and wife are now not talking due to arguments over posting personal crap on Facebook.  I don't have much hope for anything anymore except the end of the world.  That will likely disappoint, too.  Ah, fuck it all. Now I see why I never come here....

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I've changed my comments settings to allow for anyone to comment. All comments are welcome, even spineless potshots from anonymous posters. Please, by all means, give me the tongue lashing I so richly deserve. I promise not to hunt you down and melt your keyboard with my plasma cannon. I won't, however, promise not to pout and make that face you can't stand.