Don't know where to start. Only to say sorry in advance if this seems unpremeditated, and if I ramble, again, I apologize. So much bad has happened in the time since I last posted. I had many hopes and misconceptions at the time I wrote most of the stuff. Lots of emotions (mostly anger and hate) but also confusion and not a little bit of ego.
The situation with Boopie and her MS has only gotten worse since the last entry, and all the problems have magnified. Her physical disability (completely bedridden) is overshadowed even at times by the emotional instability. Hers and mine. I won't own all of it, but I will admit my own failings as a caregiver and a human being.
She cannot get out of bed even to use the commode by the bed. She is too weak. So she has to use diapers and bedpads, the details of which I won't go into, but it is a horrible situation for anyone to be in. What makes it unbearable, seemingly, for me, is the fact that she loses her temper with me for any imperfection in my behavior. I don't mean just saying mean things, but screaming and throwing things. There is no in between. She will want something done a certain way at a certain time, and it has to be that way, or she will throw (literally) a tantrum. If you've ever had a tantrum thrown at you, you know it isn't pleasant.
