Tuesday, October 29, 2013

how do i stop the cycle?

i hate the endless cycle of being a jerk or a coward and then feeling regret and sadness.  i live in my miserable head and am in constant fear or agitation. if i am passably un-jerkish for a day or part of a day, give me a few minutes and it will come back around.  i hate my life.  i am such a fuck. i thought it was my wife's fault, or her illness, but it only revealed what is in there by testing my limits. my limits are shit.  i am shit.  i have no heart or soul and am mostly negative.  i don't even try to be positive. i just do what i can to function in life, but not very well.  i have no friends. i alienate my sick wife daily. she tries to make me more positive and i just get mad and then we fight. i feel possessed.  i feel reptilian.  where's my humanity? what the fuck am i and how did i get this fucked up.  i'm asking the universe to give me some answers.  i fear i will go to my death a hollow, empty shell ready  to be taken over by complete evil.  i don't even know what i believe.  it's all one? it's all good? yah, right. fuck that nonsense.  i am hitler, i am antichrist.  how fucked is that to feel?  is that what you want, o, god? a little walk on the dark side? god, i hate this shit.  give me light and love or snuff out my pathetic hateful soul. the void. endless darkness. nothing. come on, universe. respond.

Tuesday, October 22, 2013

light and love--right now, people 4 ever

light and love.  light and love. light and love. period for ever.

Friday, October 4, 2013

u know who u r

light and love

Thursday, September 5, 2013

u know what

light and love, that's what
eat up

Saturday, July 20, 2013

barely human

light and love

Monday, June 3, 2013

last hope

light and love light and love light and love light and love light and love light and love light and love light and love

Tuesday, February 19, 2013

x100000000000000000000

Light and love

Wednesday, February 6, 2013

please help

light and love light and love light and love light and love

Tuesday, February 5, 2013

it's only stupid if it doesn't work

light and love. peace. light and love. peace. light and love. peace. light and love. peace.

Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Is this thing on?

Light and love Light and love Light and love Light and love Light and love

She said I'm evil

But I won't give the archons the last word. Light and love. For Sharon. Light and love. Light and love. Light and love.

Wednesday, January 2, 2013

Light and Love for Sharon

the new year is off to a great start. i wish my wife, sharon, light and love. nothing but light and love. over and over and over.