I Wept

I wept when I read to you about your mom

I wept because I want to believe things aren’t so

But I know all too well

I want to curl up and feel the slumber of unconsciousness

Except that it’s killing me, just like working was killing me

Perhaps goals are important, I don’t know

They keep a person focused, distracted from their pain

I cry for you when I think of the things that still mean something to you

In this world, all you have, all you can barely do

And your salty eyes betray that you cry, too

God spare me any more sadness, please

This life I have only just come to love, is slipping away

Like summer’s end

It’s inevitable, and I know I’m not prepared for another winter

Perhaps the longest one ever

As I watch the slowly fading flowers

The slowly dimming light in your eyes still wants to sparkle another day

Though your voice can barely convey to me your thoughts

I know them better than most, because I have known you

And I want you to be ok

Really ok, not that crap we tell ourselves that is just denial

I want you to shine and sparkle like brand new

And I weep because I know that can never happen

At least not in this world and who knows about any other

I will keep on going, I guess

But I feel my own life leaving me as my body seeks revenge

For all the thoughtless years of indifference

Please, I’ve just now come to love this life

Why does it have to crumble?

Who made us this way, not built to last, disposable?