The Battle of Taco Bell Parts I and II (2005)

Part One

Once upon a time

My path to Taco Bell was

Impeded by a gigantic grapefruit

With four eyes

And screaming tentacles

That extended outward in

Every direction when aroused

Reaping the repercussions I

Did not swerve but

Challenged its authority to

Bar my way

Knowing I was a mere mortal it lunged at me

Suction cups blaring

With my Ginsu I sliced

And stabbed

And slashed my way

Past it

Dashed for the door

Stepped up to the counter

And ordered a burrito

Part Two

One sunny afternoon in December

My hunger drove me to a place

Where a horrible incident had

Occurred months before

The juice stains had all been

Washed away

The severed tentacles gathered up

By hungry Mexicans

But where was the beast itself?

Where had the giant four-eyed

Grapefruit gotten off to?

I cautiously entered the establishment

I approached the counter with

Trepidation

Wearing a paper hat, its tentacles

Bound beneath a hairnet it

Spoke these words

“Welcome to Taco Bell. May I take your order?”