Infinity +1 and a sliding scale salvation package

 

4-22-20

Infinity plus one. That’s the concept I’m going to try to tackle today. We live in an “infinite“ universe. Infinite in all directions and in every dimension. But thanks to the magic of linguistics, I am able to add to the sum quantity of all that is with “just one more thing.” Concepts like eternity or infinity are just that: concepts. So in the vastness of all that is, can there be some kind of agreement between the concept of infinity and the notion that there could possibly be a final, ultimate anything? I mean, here we are doing mathematics, counting things, cataloging things and for what? It is endless. A job that will never be done. Even if someone endeavored to sweep up all the sand on all the beaches of the world, using nothing but a toothbrush and a teaspoon, with enough patience and an extended lifespan, the job could ultimately be completed.

But this infinity thing, that’s really got me buggered. Just when you think you’ve gotten that last grain of sand off of that final beach, that you can finally put your feet up and say, “Ahh, Nice work. Good job, me!“ Just at that exact moment, the universe dumps another truckload, and an infinite number of trucks line up to dump an infinite number of truckloads each containing an infinite number of grains of sand for you to have to contend with. Fuck me!

Some religions have, at their core, an afterlife which promises either eternal bliss or eternal damnation. A binary choice, with a line of demarcation determining which afterlife experience you will be enjoying, based on an algorithm residing in the brain of some deity who will decide whether or not that pack of gum that you stole in the third grade constitutes a damnation-worthy act or not. In or out. Up or down. Heaven or hell. Not very imaginative for a god of infinite creative capacity. It seems that perhaps he needed a rest after the sixth day and got a little blocked when coming up with an equitable eternal judgment plan. He should have hired Rod Serling.

I think a more interesting alternative would be an afterlife consisting of infinite possibilities. A sliding scale of punishment or reward with infinite gradations or combinations suited to the individual and his alleged crimes or good deeds. A semi-comfy hell with a few amenities for those who have sinned, but not in a big way. Or a "pretty OK" heaven with a few options grayed out for those whose lives are only deemed worthy of standard salvation but not the premium package. Just basic cable and a self-serve deli. And the streets, not paved with gold but perhaps a very high-end durable linoleum.

Why have I become so obsessed with this idea of infinity lately? It is because I like to watch TV, and I find myself running out of things to watch. Now, I know that there are still more shows out there, an infinite number, perhaps. But they are usually boring shows that consist of things that I wouldn’t be interested in. Give me enough time, though, say an eternity, and I might start to get a little interested. Because I might be getting bored out of my freaking skull, like so many of you are probably doing right now having to stay at home and not go anywhere or see anyone. Welcome to my comfy hell. Let me show you around. Today’s entertainment will consist of watching a cat, already poorly feigning interest, lose their last shred curiosity with the whirly toy.