Angry couple sues for defamation of real estate

Watch what you say in your dreams; it can come back to haunt you. 

In another dream, many months ago, I had been trespassing at a couple's house by the lake. I thought I'd smoothed it over at the time, and we'd sort of become friends, but apparently something I said about their house blocking access to the lake and being an eyesore had stuck in their craw. They said nothing at the time but waited until now, many months later, and in an entirely different dream, to exact their revenge.

I was in my backyard at home when the two sheriff's deputies rolled up in their SUVs. One officer was black, mid-thirties and wore glasses. The other was white, a crew cut rosy cheeked cherub just out of the academy. Not the most intimidating pair, but still, I was a bit put off by their sudden appearance.

They drove over my lawn and looked like they were headed for my marijuana garden. It was nothing expansive, so I couldn't imagine that was why they were here. It wasn't. They drove right past it. Anyway, it was disguised as a fruit orchard and the plants were difficult to spot. I had been growing some hybrids that looked just like lemon trees. They looked around for a minute or two and then drove off without saying anything. 

"I wonder what that was about," I asked my wife.

"Nothing good, I can tell you that," Sharon said ominously.

At that moment a man in a black trench coat appeared out of nowhere and whirled around to face us. He looked like the incarnation of evil, with a Guy Fawkes face and beard and sporting a black hat. Upon seeing his face, it became clear who he was. It wasn't the devil. No, it was far worse. He was the devil's lawyer.

"What are you here about?" I asked him. "We haven't done anything."

He sized us both up with a dismissive glance. 

"It will become clear just how much damage you've done, the both of you, with your destructive words. It has all been recorded, and the case against you is airtight," he said.

I tried to think back on who we might have offended so badly that they would hire the devil's own attorney. He didn't come cheap, but then, he'd never lost a case. Hiring him was like hiring a hit man. Worse, actually, since he left his targets alive, penniless and permanently defamed. Your reputation and bank account would be so decimated that you'd wish you were dead.

From the corner of my eye, I saw the lady who owned the lake house I'd dreamed about many months ago and surmised that it must be her and her husband who had initiated the lawsuit. She walked over to us and confirmed it, standing next to the evil attorney and saying coldly:

"This will teach you to say disparaging things about other people's houses."