Leisure Suit Edmund

Last night, I dreamed I saw Edmund, an old friend from the cult who died recently. He was wearing a white polyester leisure suit, but otherwise, he looked about the same as when I knew him back in the '80s. Unfortunately, my neighbor texted me and woke me up before I could pack my dream up to carry it back to this side, so all I have are a few impressions.

I was walking in a mall with Richard and RJ when I bumped into Edmund. I thought it was strange, physically bumping into a ghost, and I told him so.

"Hey, Edmund!" I said, "It's great to see you, but how is it that I can bump into you, what with you being dead and all?"

"It's not that difficult," he said, and he went on to explain some of the technical details of how the dead can physically interact with the living. "It's like this," he said, and he reached out his finger and put it on Richard's shoulder. I could see the fabric of Richard's shirt move slightly.

Richard didn't react, so I placed my finger right where Edmund's finger was. I could feel his finger, and I also felt the impression it made on Richard's shoulder, like I was feeling it with two sets of fingers. Richard was unaware of Edmund, but he felt me touch his shoulder, and he turned around.

"What are you doing?" he asked, looking at me strangely. 

"I am giving you a message from Edmund. He's right here. Can't you see him?"

He shook his head sorrowfully. "No," he said. "I just felt you touch my shoulder."

"That was me and Edmund." I said. "He touched your shoulder right in the spot where I just did. He wanted to let you know that he's alright."

Richard looked like he was going to weep. I couldn't believe that I was actually able to talk to the dead, so I started asking Edmund a bunch of questions about the afterlife while Richard just stared at me in disbelief.

"What can you do over there? Are you able to eat and drink? What about sex? Is there any of that?" Might as well get the inside scoop, I thought to myself, who knows when I'd wind up in the same spot.

"You can do all the same things you do over here, but it's not the same, " he said.  "I mean, I haven't figured it out yet. You can eat, but you don't get full. I can have sex with a girl, and it is enjoyable, but I don't ever finish. It's kind of maddening. And while some living people will perceive you, most will not."

I felt extremely lucky to have had this interaction with him, and I took out my phone to photograph him while we walked along. I could see him on my phone's screen while I snapped the shots. His face was translucent, and I could see right through to his bones, kind of like an X-ray. He got mad and told me to stop messing around.

"You can't photograph me. It won't come out," he said. 

I looked at my phone, and it was true. All the pictures I'd taken were just regular shots of whatever was in the background. There was no trace of Edmund, no ghost image or any evidence of anything anomalous. 

"Damn," I thought out loud, "I really thought I was onto something."

 

Sometime later, I was at an outdoor venue. It was some large event that reminded me of a Grateful Dead parking lot scene, minus the tie-dyes and drugs. There was a multitude of people waiting for some event to take place, and they had all staked out spots in the town square. People had set up little areas for themselves, and some had kiosks where they were selling concessions. Everyone was pretty much settled in, and nobody wanted to move for fear of losing their spot.

A tour bus rolled in, and one of the representatives came out and asked for volunteers to help set up the group's tent. Nobody got up to help, so I grudgingly got to my feet and started trudging toward the tour bus. Lazy bastards, I thought. Out of this whole entire crowd, not one lousy volunteer? One other guy, probably reading my thoughts, got up too, and we followed the representative.

I lost track of the time while we were helping out, and my memory is pretty scant on detail. I did lose my seat, so when I was done, I had to go wandering around looking for another spot to camp out for the event. As I was looking for a place to sit down, I came across what I thought were some rattlesnake eggs. I got a little startled at first, but upon closer inspection, they turned out to be colored pebbles.

<ding>

I had to answer my neighbor's text, so I woke up and was unable to get back to sleep and rejoin the dream. Oh, well, another early start to the day won't hurt me, I guess.