**The following events actually transpired:
Brrring-bring bring.
Bring.
A: <robotic computer voice> Hello this is Amazon calling to inform you about a charge of 913 dollars on your Amazon account for iPhone11. To stop this transaction press 1. To authorize this transaction press 2.
Me: <presses 2 just to fuck with them> <waits for live representative>
A: <scammer, located somewhere in India> Hello this is Amazon, how can I help you?
Me: I don't know. How can I help you? You called me, you know. You must need some help with something. How can I assist you?
A: Are you on drugs, sir?
Me: <laughs> <caught off-guard> Umm....
A: You are on drugs, aren't you?
Me: <continued maniacal laughter> Umm...Maybe...a little. <embarrassed to be outed by a telescammer>
A: Haha. OK, sir. That's OK. That's fine.
Me: How did you know?
A: Sir, I need to know what kind of drugs are you on?
Me: <silent> <I had smoked a little weed earlier> < man, this guy's good>
A: Sir, are you going to do cocaine? You want to do some cocaine right now?
Me: <more laughter> Thanks, man! You're a really cool guy, you know.
A: That's OK, sir. Have a nice day. You can do your cocaine, and don't worry about it. We will reverse the charges, and they will no longer apply.
Me: Whatever you gotta do, man. I understand.
A: Goodbye, sir!
Me: Goodbye, friend!
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