Dearest Whomever (From the Adventuress Wanted era circa 1992)

 09
 
Dearest Whomever;
 

Hi there, my name's Andrew, and I likes me some camping. Yessir. I am 27 years old and am in search of a female travelling companion who may or may not become the woman of my dreams as we roll down the road in my '63 Dodge paramilitary parcel van. 

 

The woman should be rugged, or at least not prissy. She need not be a beauty queen, although I wouldn't object. A real down to earth, sandle wearin', tie dyed, woman of the '90s is what I'm looking for. 

 

See, my plan is to get to know this woman through a letter correspondence, then a couple of visits, then a few preliminary weekend camping trips. Gradually, as I save money and outfit the rig for the long haul, I'd like to live with the girl, sharing expenses and saving together. Then, when we are ready to light out, having consolidated our possessions into a mass of currency and utilitarian luxuries for the journey, we will go. 

 

And go. I'd like to tour the whole U.S. because this is to be the trek of a lifetime. Traveling as cheaply as possible without eating roadkill, I would like to make this last as long as possible. Lakes, rivers, streams and mountains, everywhere will be our home. Until the money goes. Then we will hopefully be either in the locale of our dreams, or in a suburb of a town we don't hate too much, where we can work toward the next six months of travel. 

 

I am very handy and can ply myself to most trades, when given the opportunity. I have worked in an office and machine shop and as a laborer in many fields. Right now I work with the mentally ill. 

 

Anyway, if I have to relocate to meet the girl of my dreams, no problem. I live in Chico at the moment. Been here 10 months, living with grandpa, until he died. Then Uncle Steve took over. I'll be in Chico until something comes along, but when it does I'm ready to jump. 

 

What this means is, I am in a transition phase of my life. I am getting rootbound. Chico is not where I plan to plant myself forever. I want to see the world now, not when I am fifty. 

 

I have some college education, although I believe it is mostly obsolete. Computer programming is different now than 5 years ago. Anyway, it was never really my love.

 

I like music, writing and the arts. I like film (video), guitar, and drawing. I believe I could be the next Madonna, if given the right breaks (and lingerie). 

 

So what's on the list of activities? Camping, stopping at gas stations, canoeing, fishing, hiking, smelling the roses, feeling the earth under our feet, conversing, making love, swimming nude in mountain streams. Getting way out there. 

 

I don't do chemicals or drink excessively. I may partake in a beer or a small green handrolled cigarette from time to time, but I am no abuser. 

 

Let's see. Bear with me. 

 

I am openminded but have a few strong convictions. One is honesty. No thieving, lying or sneaking. I like to be out in the open and hate deception. I respect other peoples lifestyles, hairstyles and religions (where they do not infringe on my rights as a human being).  I get along with all races and speak Spanish confluently. I can also speak jive, when necessary. 

 

OK, lets see. No major diseases, like AIDS, herpes, hippopatamus--whatsoever. I am not promiscuous. I've only had 2 or three real relationships, mostly I have been by myself. I am an uncharted  sea. 

 

I hope to meet someone who is not molded in concrete but  who is adaptable, content and creative. She should also have a nice, firm, round head with a brain inside. She should like  classic and underground rock. This is not critical. She could like mariachi music, as long as she is tolerant of what I listen to. I will be likewise. 

 

So, what's more to say except - "Come on, babe, let's fly!" I'm Andrew, come fly me.
 
Andrew Golding
 PO BOX 5650 

Chico, CA 95927-5650