The Definition of a Good Pair of Shoes

The Definition of a Good Pair of Shoes

A good pair of shoes knows your foot like a friend.
They know when to give and when to provide firm support.
They are there when you need them, and when you don't, they don't lose their shape.
They will go anywhere and perform any job; they won't squeak, won't blow out or
cause you to slip.

When they're new you might wear them with pride at inappropriate times.
You might not want to wear them at all, because you fear you'll mark them up.
When that first scuff or scratch mars the finish, you feel bad, you want to throw them away. They have lost half their value, and you start thinking of another pair.
But these good shoes are tough, a little polish and they're as good as new.
So you decide to keep them, after all there's a lot you've been through.
But you don't think as much about walking in the mud or the poop.
They can take it. That's their job, and they can always
be replaced....

So eventually, you get the urge to kick up your heels. 

And this good pair of shoes, they're not looking so good anymore. 

You go looking through catalogs and storefront windows, even thinking about 

Trying on some sporty looking, new stylish pair. 

You find one or two that you like and you slip your foot inside.

Their newness deceptively cushions the defects that cheap shoes sometimes hide.
They look good, they smell good, but you know in two weeks,
You'll have blisters, walk funny and have yet another pair of shoes in your closet, in your collection of impulsive purchases.
So you'll take out your old pair, the good ones that never let you down.
You hope the mold and dirt hasn't taken too great of a toll.
The fact that they are good shoes doesn't make them invulnerable to the ravages of improper care.

Alas, even good shoes may go bad if there is no one around to wear them.

Well, you can't bear to throw them out, but to keep them is also a pain, 

So you savagely use them for the dirty work and leave them in the rain. 

Too good to throw away, but now not good enough to be your shoes, 

Their good days behind them,

They still hang in there, waiting to be used.

A good pair of shoes, never fails you, no matter what you do.

The Lilac Minute

Re: Sunday Evening
From: Lilac20C@aol.com
To: dogboner@c-zone.net
Subject: Re: Sunday Evening
Date: Monday, December 27, 1999 19:32:21
Hi Andrew

Hope all is well. I liked your letter you definitely seem to be someone who is acquainted with himself and that is a good thing. - you know. Some people seemed to be more concerned with fitting in than with who they can become •

i am sorry to hear about huckleberry - perhaps its nothing serious I reallv hope so. Because I couldn't image if anything would happen to ray pets, they are my babies. I love them with all my heart.
Its amazing what they can do for you. Just a gesture or a look can turn a really bad day into a very good day. My girls make me smile with their unique personalities. While huckleberry may be a lump, Chloe is more like a streak of lightning she is so energetic and just a little love. Listen to me blah blah blah.

well, onto another subject - screen printing sounds very interesting - you must enjoy it. 1 have seen some beautiful pieces done in that media - quirky huh. Well, as for the theory of art being void - I think that what your uncle fails to realize is art is not in the creation but in its reaction. When one looks at a piece and feels something whether positive or negative - that’s where the art truly is. Listen to me, well I will get off of my soap box now onto his subject.

You are the first person I really write too like this - I think it is because I feel kindred spirit with you. Perhaps that's a good thing:o)

Its good chat you want to make the most of your education because that is another area in which we can grow and change. I love learning - I never liked it as a kid, but now as an adult. I feel I cannot get enough information. Perhaps because I have realized the real wealth in this world is knowledge and love. And anything else is just fleeting in our lives.

Perhaps you are a writer - you may not just know it yet for sure. Perhaps you are waiting to end your adventure before you begin the chronicles. I think you would be a good writer with your insight into the world.

I try to be understanding of those around me because I have come to the determination that if we all use a little kindness and manners perhaps we can change the world one person at a time - although I must say I do fall of my pedestal once in a while and let the world get to me - but after all I am only human.

Your cat sounds like he has lived quite a life - he was lucky enough to drift into the life of someone who cares for him.

That’s another thing that I feel directs our lives. We run into people who will change our lives all the time - sometimes we just aren't aware of it and loose some very good influences, but enough of my preaching for now.

Sorry to be so talkative, but I am in one of my purging moods. And I think you are very interesting although I think there is one thing we may have to 'discuss.

Yes, I am a tall woman but I am also heavy. So if this is an issue please let me know. Please don’t take offense but some people just think that what one looks like is all there is. Because underneath this padding is the soul of a really great person only the lucky ones have been blessed to see that.

So I will hopefully hear from you soon. I hope all goes well. And I will keep my fingers crossed for huckleberry.

The Ballad of the Cowgirl and her Chance Encounter with a Man in the Feed Store (and how it led her to place a personal ad in the News and Review) by The Man in the Feed Store

I'll bet you like horses, I'd say with a grin on my face,

To the tall, blonde haired beauty that I saw at the feed store buyin' grain.

You'd look at me with anger; 

Who is this stranger, 

What's he staring at me for?

Go away, little boy; 

I'm a big girl who's seen it all before.

So our first chance encounter would have ended up disastrously.
I'd have never known you were looking for someone like me.
I'd stumble and stutter; you'd buy the grain and walk out the door,
And I'd be left standing there in the aisle of the damn feed store.

So, disgusted with myself, I'd go home, watch TV and drink a beer,
Like so many nights, for so many sad lonely years.
After a few hours, I’d fall off to sleep on the couch,
Dreamin' about the Cowgirl at the feed store that I just can't live without.

And the days would come and the days would go

How to get that girl, well, I just don't know

I'd clean my house and buy new clothes

And do all the things that a man can do to let a woman know.

I'd bring you flowers and read you tender love poems,
If only I had the number to your telephone.
I'd look through the want ads, mainly to have a good laugh,
Cause love never comes from its pages, just girls who want cash.

But hope springs eternal, even for old hopeless fools like me.
I'd open up the paper, not ready for what I would see:
"6 foot 2, with eyes of blue,
Blonde haired Cowgirly, Is looking for you.

"She likes animals, dancing, four wheelin'
And some romance, too.
She wants a 5" 9' brown haired man with glasses,     
Last seen at the feed store, looking so dashing,

"Who’s conversation was lacking, but who looked so sincere,

Though she was in quiet a rush,

So she really couldn't spare the time to sit around and wait

For him to pick up his eyeballs off the floor and get his lines together,

And quit his droolin' 

(though he did look kind of cute with his tongue hangin' down to his boots). 

THAT man,

If it's you, can call my personal ad.

And I hope that you do."

So I called her personal ad,
And all my dreams came true.

Andrew Breakup Letter to Sharon (longwinded)

Well, I guess this is where it all started, isn't it? Email. There is no mystery or danger any longer, just communication between souls that have a hard time always saying what they mean. 

I don't really know why I'm writing to you now, just nostalgic, I guess, having a real hard time letting go.

I love you so much, and I know I will never stop even if that love means letting you go. You need to do what is best for you. Not be stuck in a relationship that doesn't satisfy you. Love cannot be forced on someone or faked by someone in return. 

I will never stop caring for you and will not go down the road of hating you, just to make the feelings disappear. They will never really disappear, because I am human and have a heart and mind that remembers all the good, and happy times we've had. 

I can't go around with regrets, I don't regret the time we've spent. I regret the bad things that have happened, maybe the fact that I didn't do more of the little things that would have shown you that I loved you. But I think you really, honestly, know that I do, and have, loved you. 

You think I took you for granted, or that I didn't really appreciate you. You think I just saw in you some girl, any girl, and that that was all I cared about. That I didn't love you for you. I loved all the things that you let me know about you.

I could have forgiven you anything from your past because the person that I knew you to be was different. A person can change. I would not have held the things in your past against you, if you were up front about them. 

You never trusted me enough to tell me some of this stuff because you probably thought I would think horrible things about you. The truth is I would have admired you for being honest and could have believed the best about you, that you were different from your past. 

I am different from my past. I was an immature teenager and an irresponsible adult. I’ve caused my share of hurt in people's lives. But when we started our relationship it was a clean slate for both of us. 

So a lot has happened and now we have to break up, because we are both not happy. You, because you want things out of life that I cannot currently provide, and me because I can't be with a woman who doesn't respect me. 

Although I tried to earn your respect and make you want to proud of me, in going to school, bettering myself, I guess things weren't up to your expectations, or didn't happen fast enough. And then there's the fact that I will never be a big, towering hulk of a man. So you probably would look upon me as inferior, no matter how smart or rich I was. 

The bottom line is, I didn't have what it takes. I just want you to know that I loved you, and really thought that you loved me. That we had something special. I know there were times of hostility, the usual couple fighting stuff. But the times of fun and love and sweetness were about 90% and the other stuff about 10% or less. But that was all with the assumption that we were both being honest with each other. If it wasn't 90% and 10% for you, I didn't know. 

I have so many good memories that will always be a part of me, that helped me to become the person I am today (hopefully better than the one I was). But I cannot help but be confused. Were ail these good things, the love and tender feelings we've shared not true? They were for me. 

I can't believe that there wasn't love between us, real love. And if it was real, what happened? Why did it have to end? What can really make love end? It can't. I still love you. I can't be with you right now, I can't respect what you've done. I hate the fact that I was lied to and used. 

But that doesn't change the fact that I still do love you. I will always care what happens to you, if you are happy and healthy. 

I can't make you love me, if you don't. I can't buy your respect. Or remake myself into the image of a 6'5" lumberjack. I am what I am. I don't apologize for being 5’9". 

I guess there's no point in saying "If I wasn't your ideal man, whatever did you see in me to stay with me for a year and a half?" You did, but you regret it, now you are free and I am sad. I thought I could make you happy, I didn't want to make you depressed. 

Just believing that you loved me made me so happy and started me down the path of being a better person. I didn't realize that I wasn't having the same effect on you. I wanted so much for it to be mutual. Sometimes it just can't be. 

When I think of all the little things, like blowing kisses on the radio, like the cuddling (when both of us are really into it), like all of our pet names for each other and how we both treat our animals as if they were our children, the fun things we've done, and the crazy things like camping out. swimming, barhopping (and field hopping) ... the fitness fad, the sicknesses we've endured, the laughter (even at my stupid jokes), our romantic times and even the day to day boring routine of cleaning up after horses, or just watching movies or doing some recreation to pass time like playing cards for nickles, I just can't picture myself doing it and having as good a time with anybody else. And I can't bear to think of it coming to an end. 

I think of you as my one true love in life, and I will never be able to replace you. Since I can't have you, your love and respect, I can't have what I want in life. Sometimes people can't get what they want. 

Maybe you will find what you want, maybe not. But I will not allow you to settle for me, if I am not what you want. I don't know how long it will take for you to be strong and face the possibility of being alone. I hope not too many more half-way relationships. It only hurts you and the other person. 

I don’t intend to preach to you, I just wish you would be truthful with yourself first, and with other people, including me. Its the only way we can be friends. Friendship is built on trust. Trust is given by faith, but if it is lost it has to be earned. When you tell the truth, even when it hurts you, it establishes trust.

Right now, we are at the very, very beginning point of the truth coming out. It hurts. Eventually, it can heal. If there is love, there can be trust again. Love is patient, and kind, and forgives all things. I don't say that I have perfect love, but if ever I've loved anyone in my life, I love you and wish you the best in all things. 

Even if your feelings aren't the same for me, I know I can't lie to myself and say that I don't love you when I do. I just can't be with you. I can't pretend that you are mine when you are not. I've said all I can say, and I can't make you stay. I must let you go, it's the only way. 

Maybe someday, when you've been hurt a time or two, you'll think of our love, and it won’t seem so boring. Maybe I’m kidding myself by being so sentimental, I really never knew you as well as I thought I did. Maybe we'll get to know each other better, and if we can stand one another, after being honest for a while, we'll have a chance at something real. 

I don't want to lose you. I just don't know how good of a friend I can be to put aside my own hurt and pride and be there for you unselfishly. I guess I really don't have a choice, I love you. I will be there for you in whatever way you need me to be. I will probably hold a candle for you till the day I die...silly me...but that's the way I am. 

We're broken up now, so you can see who you want, date who you want, be who you want. I want you to be happy in life, so be free but be wise, and take care. Remember, in all your relationships....honesty. 

You probably won't like having me for a friend, see how preachy I am? I can't help it, I just want the best for people, and they just want to screw their lives up. But being a friend means backing off and letting people make mistakes, not condemning them, but offering advice IF ASKED. 

So, I'll shut up now, I hope things go good for you and if you ever need someone to talk to I'll be there. Take care, sweetie.
Love,
andrew

Guilty Pleasure - I try to win Sharon back, textbook style

From: dogboner
To: Sharon Orrick
Subject: guilty pleasure
Date: Friday, May 14, 1999 09:48:07
 
Sorry, dear, but I couldn't help it, I need to join a self-help program for people who can't stop writing letters. I was online for a while gathering valuable information on pruning fruit trees, and la da da da blah blah blah. I couldn't get you off my mind. 

I admit it, I am obsessed. I will chill out, I'm sure when things become more stable. But as things stand right now, I am so antsy, so itchy, so up in the air, that I can't keep myself busy enough to stop thinking of you. 

Funny, huh? And you thought I took you for granted. God, Sharon, what kind of a spell did you put on me? I have only been broken up with you for 2 days, and I want you more now than I ever did. 

I am not writing to you because I am unable to talk to you face to face. It's just that here I am, thinking about you, and all these things are racing around in my brain wanting to come out. And you aren't here for me to tell you. If I wait until the next time I see you, maybe I'll forget, or get distracted and not have it all come out as clearly. 

Plus, I admit, it is a guilty pleasure. I like to write to you. It is a way of getting things out, and communicating with you when you are not there. I also like to get emails from you. I don't expect books, like the kind I've been writing you lately. It's just nice to hear from you, how you are doing. La la la, blah blah. 

Let me get to the point:
 
I. How would you feel about not breaking up?

 
   a) Things would be different:

      1) You need more space, breathing room.

      2) I need to expand my outside activities. 

      3) We would spend only QUALITY time. 

      4) I would not hinder any of the self-improvement excercises you have going (ie. no pizza binges)

      5) We would both be entirely honest with each other.

      6) We can start over with trust and respect for each other.

      7) PASSIONATE KISSES

   b) I have already forgiven you for everything.

   c) I love you and must have you. 

   d) You are the only woman for me, I will never, ever love anyone like I love you.
 
   e) Mother is NOT always right. 

   f) We can work on our problems together, and help each other. 

   g) We aren't getting any younger. 

   h) No one knows me and understands me like you do. 

   i) I can usually talk you down when you get really out there and get irrational.
 
   j) We both want the same things: love, the good life, kids, nice stuff, fun and adventure, animals.
 

II. So, what do you think?
 

   a) No pressure. 

   b) Think about it.

  

III. I am not wimping out, I just want you back, I know what I want out of life, and you are my one true love. (ref. section I, subpoints c & d)

 
IV. Do I sound desperate?

 
V. Could you love a man like me?
 
   a) I am a weirdo.
 
   b) I am short, bald and have a hairy back.
 
   c) I would never lie, cheat or do anything to hurt you in any way.
 
   d) I would work hard to make a good life for us and provide for our (future) family.
 
   e) I would stand behind you and support you, and never stand in the way of your dreams and goals or keep you from having fun.
 
   f) I would smile a lot and do my best to make you laugh and cheer you up when you are down.
 
   g) I would shower you with affection and little reminders of my love for you.
 
   h) I would love you with all my heart.

 
VI. Silly me
 
Well, I hope I have made my point. I don't know if I could be as precise in person, but I'll certainly give it a try maybe I'll just take a few notes. And oh, yes, eye contact and make a few jokes to lighten up the speech. Yeah, that's the ticket. 

Sorry, hon, but I do feel better now. Just had to jot down a few thoughts and share them with you. Hope I didn't bore you with too many details. See ya soon.
 
Love,
 
Andrew
 

Email from when Sharon and I broke up briefly in 1999

From: dogboner
To: Sharon Orrick
Subject: good for you, girl
Date: Friday, May 14, 1999 02:10:47

Dear Sharon,
 
I hope that you do what is right for you, and that you will stay true to your truest feelings at all times. I know you that your problem revolves around a co-dependency issue; you've never been alone for any length of time. But alone is not so bad; it gives you time to discover what you really are, what you feel,
and what makes you happy. 

People in relationships have to have something to bring, of their own, to the relationship. When two people are focused only on each other, they become stagnant, and lose touch with reality. For instance, my lack of outside interests, has made me an isolated, and boring person. I spent all my time and energy focused on you, and lost myself in the process. 

I was a person (not necessarily the most responsible or intelligent) who had a life (kind of lonely, and dysfunctional) and thoughts of my own. Ok, I'm not a good example. But I did have things that used to make me happy (ok, they were stupid things like playing music over the cb and thinking I was a local celebrity).

I look back at the things that I used to do and wonder "who was that guy?" I have changed. I am in the process of changing. I need to find out what is important to me in life, what I am interested in, what I am about. 

For the last year and a half I have been about you. And I have let the other aspects of my personality
that used to mean something to me die. Some of them were elements of my immature  teenage lifestyle, and they needed to die. 

Being with you made me grow up and start taking things more seriously. I gained something but I lost something as well. We all need to have our own space, inside our heads, that is us, not someone's expectation or ideal. I have tried to live up to your ideal, but I never left very much time or energy for what I was about. 

The thing is, I have never been so happy, felt so complete as when I was with you. When we were together, even on our most ho-hum days, I look back on them and they were the best days of my life. I can't kid myself, and tell myself that I'd be better off without you. 

I am constantly reminded of you (and it hasn't been very long since we've been apart) by songs "Your just too good to be true, can't keep my eyes off you..." and "I only have eyes for you," and I go to pieces. 

I was reminded of Monterey, by something on TV, and I was back there with you. Remembering driving on the coast, into the sunset. How romantic it was, how we were still together. How much I miss you and need your love. 

I thought I was stronger than this. I think about the things you did and try to convince myself that I am better off without you. But all I really want is to hold you and have you with me forever. The way I thought we used to be. 

I was in my own little dream world, I guess, but you were there in my dream. You were my dream. I had a harsh awakening when you decided that you would seek a way out of the relationship. I didn't want to let you go. I couldn't believe you could want someone else. I guess I was a fool, who was just too in love to want to believe it. 

I know that you did what you did, because you have a problem, and this problem is not my fault. I could be the greatest guy in the world (I am not) and you would still have this problem. 

You need to take care of your own heart and mind, try to get tuned in to what's real, leave aside relationships for a while and focus on your own life. You can't find happiness with someone else, if you are not happy with who you are. 

I know what is best for you, and although it doesn't make me happy to be without the love of my life, it is for the best. I think you need to do as your parents say, lose the weight, stay out of chat rooms and away from the personal ads. 

Keep your horses, and stay focused on them. They are the key to your sanity. They are what you are really about. When I met you they were the center of your life, and they were what made you who you
were. 

It was very romantic for me, when we first met, to see you going about your horse business. It was fascinating for me to see a girl who was capable of dealing with these big, powerful animals. To be able to be a part of your life, you the capable cowgirl, was thrilling for me. 

Sure, I was green, and you've had to show me everything, so that I wouldn't get myself killed, or ruin your training. But now, much of what you've shown me seems like second nature. 

Your horses are one of the things that make you an interesting and special person. Don't let your priorities get so far out of whack that you forget who you are and what you are really about. 

If you will always promise to be truthful with me, I will always be your friend. I can't say what will happen in the future, but for now we need to spend some time apart. If there is really love there it will stand the test of time. If there isn't then the pain of breaking up will only be temporary. Only time will tell. 

I won't be reading your email, or checking up on you. You are your own person, and owe me nothing. If time and fate bring us together again, perhaps we could start afresh, and be kind to one another again. 

I have some growing up to ao, too. I need to be my own person first, and have my own life and priorities in order. I need to take care of No. 1 (and clean up the No. 2) .

I will carry about with me forever the good times that we have shared. I will put the bad things in the past, and hopefully they will fade into the distance, as they already have for me. I am without anger, I
am left only with the memories of us, and miss you very much. 

Be good, I will never be far away.
 
Love,
 
Andrew