Sharon's Makeup Letter

From:    Sharon Orrick <cwgirly@yahoo    com>
To:    <dogboner@c-zone.net>
Sent:    Wednesday, February 02, 2000    9:28 PM
Subject:    Dear Andrew

Dear Andrew,
I know you don't want contact with me in any way but I need to speak with you. We've been apart for a month now and you know what I have found during this month. That I miss you terribly and all I think about is you. Maybe in my weakened state from disappointment after disappointment I have come to realize that we really did have something. Yes, in fact when I was talking to Vivianne about you she asked me if I loved you and I told her I did and she said she knew I did because I never had anything bad to say about you and everything was always good. I have found that I am in fact too old now to be in the dating game. I need to settle down and quit being childish. Andrew I have tried to contact you on the phone but either you aren’t there or it is busy. I ask you this...would you please take me back. It is beyond me to beg but I realize that I love you. Even though maybe my parents don’t agree but then again they don't agree with any of what I do. I need your love and I need to move on with my life in a positive way. I feel myself some how slipping though I am doing well I just can't live without you. Please find it in your heart to forgive me what I have done. It took me risking everything I had to find this out and I know there is a great chance that you won't take me back. If not I will regret this for the rest of my life. But it is your choice now. I am the fool here and I hope you will love me for who I am and I will love you for who you are and what you are to me. We were more than friends yes. I know this. We had more than I have ever had with anyone or could hope to have with anyone. All those times we did stuff together and all the times we went fishing and our little camping times. I loved it, every minute of it. My life was good then. I felt complete. I am so empty without you. I feel so badly that I hurt you but I had to harden my heart and tell myself that I had to push you away. Why? I think it was to find myself and to know that I could be alone.
But for what? Look where it has gotten me. NO where.
I know I sound like a sorry sack of shit. For the first time in my life I want something back that I
lost. Usually I can say oh well and move on. But not this time, I think that maybe because we were together for a long time that I got scared of the end of the road. I thought that maybe I was too young to settle down. I'm not too young. I want to be with you Andrew. I love you very much and I am in love with you. It was not my unhappiness with you that made things bad. It was my unhappiness with myself and me not being honest with you and my weight had a great part in it that I was not making myself do the best for me but blaming it on you and you had nothing to do with it. Look, I know this is chicken shit to write this to you instead of talking to you but I want you back and I miss you and I love you and I am too scared to come to your house of fearing that the rejection would devastate me more than I am now and more than I could bear. I miss your love and I miss loving you.
We had it good. We had something that was just awesome and never could be duplicated. Please find it in your heart to forgive me. There really isn't anything that has sparked this all of a sudden need to talk to you...it's just that all along I compared every man to you that I came in contact with since we parted. No one will and can measure up to you. Please call me.
I need and love you so much.
Love,
Sharon

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