As days go by, I wonder how I got here, where I will go and how come it's taking me so long to find God. I think, "I am seeking, why does He not show me a sign?" Then I think, "Yeah, for what, 2 months now? And you expect what kind of sign? Part the heavens or what?"
I guess I should look for the signs that are all around me. I guess, first give some thanks for what I do perceive or what was revealed to me specifically.
1. That this life is just a game.
2. That we are all one, all 8 billion of us.
So far that's about it, though each teaching that resonates with my spirit and causes me to tear up, I feel is proof of God's Spirit in me saying, "Yes! Finally! He gets it!" A little late, but better than not at all.
So still I wait, for further instruction, and it comes in the form of tests of patience. My wife's crazy PMS, MS or whatever it is, makes her insane and me as well. I try so hard to love the prickly cactus she sometimes is. But I know it's not her, not really. Just a mask she wears for God, who is teaching me that my love is not yet perfect.
It may be a while yet. I'm still here, though, God.
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Journal entry for June 7, 2011 (Waiting for answers with my loveable, prickly cactus)
Hi, I'm Andrew, AKA Hoodyup the Evil Caregiver, and I approved this blog post. I may not have been in my right mind at the time, but what's done is done. I stand by my sins. Eppur si muove.
I started this blog as a way to vent my frustrations with life, the universe and everything (not the book by Douglas Adams; that was quite good, actually).
My seemingly charmed life took a turn in 2004 when my wife Sharon was diagnosed with MS. This blog documents the fallout and revisits the past, as well as chronicling my dreams and rants throughout the years.
Be warned - explicit language and content that runs the gamut can be found in these posts, which describe personal events, both real and those dreamed up by my overactive nocturnal psyche.
Also, I use real names whenever possible, so if you see a post with your name on it, it probably refers to you. Unless, of course, you don't know me, in which case it is purely coincidental.
Enjoy your visit. Comment, if you so desire, or lurk privately. This blog can be your guilty pleasure (or displeasure).
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