Gonna plummet in the drink

 

I don't remember much of my dream due to constant having to get up in the middle of the night to pee. I probably have a bladder infection or am dehydrating myself trying to flush out some bacteria. 

But this much I remember: I was in some kind of desert canyon resort. There were others there, but they were not people I know. Except possibly a Hannelore Krueger type of person, who was not her, but reminded me of Sharon's cousin.

I was deciding to catch some rays and relax on a ledge near the river. It was one of those treacherously inaccessible spots, made more enticing by its difficult location. I climbed up from the river side, navigating the steep ascent and feeling pretty good about myself for the accomplishment. 

As I lay there, I saw a salmon swim by. Damn, and I'd forgotten my fishing pole. Down I went to fetch it. Only instead of making it back to the same spot, I found myself trapped in another area of the river canyon. 

This place was accessible only by climbing a poorly constructed but wonderfully ornate wooden trellis. What are trellises for, if not for climbing? And yet these resort owners had put all of their money into the nice wood stain and optics of this decorative structure and failed to secure it to anything. It wasn't even held together with much more than good thoughts.

I was in a desperate situation, swaying this way and that, and unable to go forward or back. I was dangling out over the river, destined to fall in if the structure gave way.

I called for help and Faux Hannelore tossed me a phone. The phone belonged to a guy I recognized from TV shows, who played Todd, the super-nice fat guy on "The Last Man on Earth." 

 

I thanked him but promptly dropped his phone in the river. I was sure it would be a goner, sunk to the bottom--but, lo and behold, when I reached down for it it, there it was. A floater. And waterproof, too, by the looks of it. 

I yelled to Todd and Hannelore, "It's OK!"

That still didn't solve my predicament. I was just going to have to hang and sway for a while, until I could think of something else. But I never did. By this time, I was ready to wake up anyway. I had to get up to pee, so that saved me.

It's a busy day, I have an early shrink appointment. And my blinking Sharon LED is letting me know, "It's time to walk Whiskey and get on with it already, Mr. Longwinded." God, I love that little LED.