Unsatisfying hotel sex

And what was the deal with the dog, anyway? 

So, I had this weird situation in dreamland. I was with a girl in a hotel or other type of pay by the night rental accommodation, and sex was being proffered in exchange for something, I don't know what, exactly. I think "they" were after our vital essence. You know, some vague Strangelovian conspiracy to steal our bodily fluids type of thing. 

The collector was a nice enough girl, though a bit clinical, offering just enough interaction to get the necessary body parts to cooperate. But like a jaded Russian spy, her heart was not in it. She barely spoke, except to give directions if things didn't seem to be progressing satisfactorily enough.

As if I didn't already feel the lack of enthusiasm, I had to wait while she guided a dog through a similar process, which he found equally as unexciting. And this was a dog, mind you. They can get aroused at any suitable appendage, or even a non species appropriate stuffed animal. 

After the dog's lackluster performance, it was my turn. Cue the "ooh, baby you're driving me wild" <yawns and files nails>. Still, I really wanted this to happen, so I employed every technique of mental self-stimulation to convince myself that this wasn't what it felt like, which was something like a compulsory Sunday church carwash.

As usual, I was left with that dissatisfied feeling, since nothing ever wound up happening. There was another guy, whose turn was presumably next, who was already scheming on whether or not he'd be able to smoke pot in the bedroom after she was done with him.

"What about if I open the window and just blow the smoke outside?"  He tried to convince me, though I really didn't have any stake in the matter.

"I think she's going to be concerned about her clothes smelling like the stuff," I said as I pointed to all of her opened suitcases, which seemed to take up a good amount of space in the rather small room. 

"Besides, there are balconies you could go out on," I pointed out. But he really seemed to enjoy the idea of smoking in bed without having to get up. Such laziness.

That's about it. As collectors go, she really wasn't very good, although I think she was convincing enough for the dog. I woke up before the pothead got his turn, so here I am awake and not even the least bit aroused. Pretty sad considering it is springtime, and this constitutes a sex dream.