Kramer, Costanza, Seinfeld and I were sitting at the table in Kramer's house. Kramer had cooked a bunch of tri-tip for his little dog, and it was sitting in a bowl on the table cooling off before he was to serve it to him. I was sneaking pieces and eating them, trying to conceal my chewing while Kramer engaged me in a conversation. I was sure I was going to get caught in the act, but Kramer seemed to be aware of just about everything but my meat-thieving antics.
The other two just looked on, shaking their heads, while the little dog yipped and snapped at my hand as I palmed a piece of meat. I feigned a cough and brought the meat to my mouth, biting off a large chunk, the dog intently tracking the remaining piece in my hand like a street gambler engaged in a game of Three Card Monte.
"He's really into you," Kramer said, still not noticing the diminishing meat supply in the bowl, nor my poorly concealed chewing.
"Yeah," I gurgled between chews, "he sure is." I managed to wheeze out the words, narrowly avoiding a huge coughing fit, as the meat was about to go down the wrong way.
"Well, that about tears it," Kramer said indignantly. "I cook all this meat for him, and he likes you better than me. It's like you were feeding him or something."
The dog continued to yap, as if to say, "He's not giving it to me, you imbecile. He's hogging it all for himself." But Kramer couldn't speak the little dog's language, so he misinterpreted the barky yips as the dog wanting to go outside.
"Is that what you want, little guy? Time to go for a walk?"
The dog reluctantly shifted his focus to the door, and we all got up from the table. That's when Kramer noticed that half of his tri-tip had vanished. I still had a bit of beef hanging out of my mouth when Kramer launched at me, a butcher knife in one hand and the half empty bowl of meat in the other. I dodged him, weaving in between Jerry and George and ran out the door with Kramer and the little dog in pursuit.
"I'll get you for this!" he yelled after me. "Don't think I won't! You...you...meat thief!"
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