Andrew Letter 26

****The following was transcribed from a letter I sent my mom sometime in the early 80s. She was kind enough to send me a batch of our old correspondence to aid me in the completion of my memoirs. I've done my best to preserve the original text, while correcting some typos and inserting paragraph breaks to make for easier reading. I have yet to determine an approximate date, but when I do, I will move this post to the appropriate slot in the chronology of this blog.****

 

 

Andrew Letter 26 (Early 80s)

 

Dear Mom,

 

It’s kind of hard to write in the middle of a vacation, so I sort of waited for the end to write. I got your letter and can relate, know where you’re coming from, etc. I can also say that I am happy with my own attitudes right now. It is no longer a matter of “fuck ‘em all” or “so what.” It is a matter of finding my own place or niche. I have done so many things in the last few weeks that have made me think: You know, I am in my prime, and I really am having the time of my life.

I have made some new friends and they blend right in with the old. Lesa is a very nice, sympathetic soul, and she is another person (like Cherie) who has strange powers, and who I believe has a place in my life. Steve and Denise Dennis, are both in good spirits but lack direction. Dennis seems to be interested only in getting drunk. Likewise, Steve seems to value only his own very narrow scope of punk music, something we don’t agree upon. He has shaved his whole head – otherwise, we get along fine.

Cherie and I have “broken up.” I have decided that I can’t handle that kind of relationship and that I am happy without the jealousy and paranoia. I hate head games and power trips and people into ownership. It was something that I needed to experience, though.

I have since gone out with other girls and felt myself more of a whole person (like I’m not just living for one person). Cherie was upset at the actual “breakup” but not at the events leading up to it, so I felt no pain at demoting her to less than #1 status. Oh, well, I am now realizing my friendship making capabilities and am loving it.

I met this girl Lesa at a party, and she was strung out on meth (don’t worry, mom). I talked to her and found her interesting. She plays bass, wants to get in a band and we like a lot of similar music. Anyway, I talked to her while she was shooting up – the sight sickened me – and I convinced her that she was a worthwhile person, contrary to her beliefs. I actually restored her faith in herself, and she is clean (off drugs) now. She calls me a “nice man.”

Remember my experience with Cherie? The face changing? Well, if you say I’m crazy, I’m gonna get mad because I know for a fact that people’s outward and inward appearances change through manifestations of good and evil. Just as Cherie’s face turned into the devil, Lesa’s face changed. It once became that of an old lady and had a tree-like appearance, and then it became very beautiful and vibrant.

I could tell she was tortured by her own personal demons, and wanted to help her and I did. I sat there and talked to her, and I helped her to feel good about herself again. That made me feel good. Later, we both sat down at a piano and started to play, and the most marvelous music  came from the two of us playing the piano psychically (not looking). No drugs were involved (on my part), just – I hate to use this expression – good vibes.

Well, that’s where I’m at. I’m a hippie, I’m afraid, at heart. I don’t like that fast, violent punk garbage (who does?) but I am still a (non-conformist member of society) PUNK. I guess I am just a punk that loves people.

Anyway, I’m rambling.

I talked to Paul – one time in the whole visit. I’m sorry I didn’t see him more, but I was busy – always doing something fun. He said that I am sane and that I am a healthy teenager.

 

By the way, I love life and I love you,

Andrew

Jesus loves you. Bye now. I’ll write again.