Sunday, June 3, 2018

I wouldn't have missed it for the world




Is what I would say to her now about all those long, miserable years we spent suffering from her affliction together…

Because now that’s all I have are memories of her being alive and sure, I block out most of the bad ones. Hell, I can’t even feel those feelings now. All I can feel is the longing for what I had and didn’t appreciate.

She was alive. And she cared about me.

I don’t think I can ever be the same or better than I was with her, I’m just going to try not to slip downhill as fast as I know that I could.

We had some trying times. I felt so overworked and unfulfilled. Now, I hardly do anything and I feel like life is just going to trample me into the ground. Entropy is moving faster than I can. Soon, I’ll be gone, too.

And I’ll think back on these days, these lonely, miserable fucking days that I hate to endure and I’ll say “I wouldn’t have missed it for the world”. 

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