Creeps (exerpt from Facebook reply on 4-3-19)

What is it that makes one person’s endeared loved one another's creep? What, in particular is that defining quality? Is there some visually observable look a person has about them that makes them fall into the creep category? Is it more subtle even than that? A hug, a touch, a look, a word spoken; all are OK, and they are all not OK, depending on context and reciprocity. I like you, you like me—OK. I like you, you don’t like me—I’m a creep.

But this is an oversimplification. Surely, there is a sliding scale of creepiness, and one size doesn’t fit all. Human beings are all wired up differently. We have huggers and non-huggers, people who bottle up their feelings and those that effuse emotion to anyone in close proximity. Some people click and connect with certain people, and others, not so much. That a consensus should be expected, when all these different types of people exist, is unrealistic.

I don’t think creeps set out to be creeps. I think they ultimately just want to feel loved and to give love and may not be aware that their manner of achieving this is not appreciated. That may be too generous, because certainly there are sociopaths and sexual predators seeking self-gratification at all costs. But this is a whole different level of misbehavior with generally accepted guilt to be impugned. These are criminals, not just creeps.

I like to pet my cats. Not once have they accused me of being a creep. But there are probably instances where they are just not “feelin’ it.” Are they being doormats and victims because they let me pet them anyway? Should they extend their claws and let me know I have crossed the line? #neverthebelly #enoughwiththepatsonthebutt They sense that my intentions are sincere and put up with my shit, in part because I feed them, but mainly because I’m their endeared person, and they know I’m showing them affection in my weird, human way.

Creeps gonna creep. They may know they are creeps or maybe not. There are probably a lot of people who would be hurt to know that they come off creepy to people. Creeps are people, too, after all. They are just wired differently from the people who find them creepy. Are we going to send everyone who has ever put out an unappreciated vibe to Creep Island?

“How did you get put here, Grandpa?”

“I stared too long at this young lady at the grocery store. I was actually looking at the pickles on the shelf next to her, trying to read the labels, but no matter. It creeped her out.”

Despite my lighthearted approach, I am seriously interested in this topic for its larger societal implications. And for me, in particular, because I find myself avoiding interaction with people, fearing I will set off someone’s creep radar. Maybe I just have a creepy face, I dunno. The fact that I just spent an hour obsessively typing out an unsolicited diatribe on a friend’s post, I myself find a little creepy.