Tuesday, August 3, 2021

Personal ad addendum

 


Lonely old farts need love too, part ii

I wanted to add a few things to my ad, but the little text box wasn't big enough for my enormous additions. (see Lonely old farts need love, Part 1)

I’m a widowed WM, just an everyday guy, perhaps a little damaged from life’s bumpy ride, but at my age, who isn’t? I would just like to experience something fun and pleasant with an amenable female. Would I like for there to be a meaningful connection? Of course. But at this point I would settle for pity sex with any girl with the aforementioned pulse, who is just bored and has a sympathetic, slutty side.

It’s been three years, for God’s sake, can you blame me?

I am not looking to reform your sexual psychopathy (like it was a bad thing). I am under no illusions that I will be rescuing a princess or charming the queen out of her knickers. You are on DoubleList for a reason, are you not? Well, so am I, and who am I to judge another’s proclivities anyway?

A picture will be provided upon request to anyone curious enough to know more about this freak, as well as a detailed physical description of any part of my anatomy that you desire to inquire about.

I know I am probably not playing this game correctly, being all wordy and such, but this is just who I am. Admit it, ladies, wouldn’t you like to know more about a potential sexual partner than than just age/sex/location and how big it is? (it’s just fine, by the way.)

What else would you like to know? That I enjoy long walks, or or that I love animals and sunsets? That beneath this false bravado lies the tender heart of a hopeless romantic with his own seemingly incongruous slutty side? That I prefer a blues band to a rave, good conversation, cuddling and a quiet night in front of the TV to a wild night on the town? Those are all true of me, but still fail to provide even an accurate thumbnail.

Perhaps someone would be kind enough to let me know the optimal amount and type of information that a girl requires or desires of a guy these days, before consenting to strip down to her panties and engage in some consensual fun with him.

Just putting it out there, is all. A guy can dream, can’t he? If it strikes a chord with anyone, great. Please be a doll, and respond if this is you.

Details: 56 years old, in (Yuba county foothills)

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I've changed my comments settings to allow for anyone to comment. All comments are welcome, even spineless potshots from anonymous posters. Please, by all means, give me the tongue lashing I so richly deserve. I promise not to hunt you down and melt your keyboard with my plasma cannon. I won't, however, promise not to pout and make that face you can't stand.