Universe 1, Andrew 0 -- A text that didn't send (thankfully?)

 

Hello again. Sorry about the tardy reply. I’ve been dealing with some weird stuff over here on the home front. 

I credit myself for being a mostly rational rather than magical thinker, however, some of the events of the last couple days have me questioning that. 

I tend to be a little skeptical of connections drawn between seemingly disparate events like:  “I lost my car keys, then I begged the universe, or God, or whatever, and suddenly they appeared in my left coat pocket”  kind of thing. 

Yesterday, however, I was shaking my fist at the sky (I can be a bit immature, I’ll admit) when a blog post I was editing disappeared from the text editor without rhyme or reason. And then something really weird occurred.

I’d been trying to stave off a stye that was threatening to ruin my week, so I testily opened the hot water valve in my bathroom sink to wet a washcloth for a warm compress. Middle finger still extended skyward and curses issuing forth from my mouth, I made it clear to the universe how I felt about how my day was going.

At the instance that I turned on the faucet, bright orange water poured out of the tap, like a home edition of one of the plagues of Egypt. The timing was so synchronous that I had to laugh… and tremble just a little.

“I take it back! I take it back!” I said to the universe, meekly.

The universe did relent, and the water began to run clear, the plague of blood water not returning. This has never happened before at my house, and (knock on wood) it hasn’t happened since.

The stye was still bothering me, however, and I made several eye doctor appointments because I have suffered with things like this in the past. (I’m not a walking collection of problems, I promise. Well, no more than average, I suppose.)

Anyway, my mood suffered as a result, and in my painful desperation, I looked up home remedies and stumbled across an old one that recommended rubbing a gold wedding band on the affected eyelid. I had been using warm compresses for several days, to no effect. 

I was skeptical, but after reading several reviews of this supposed hack, I thought I’d give it a try. I still have my old wedding ring from my marriage to my deceased wife. 

After just a minute or so of lightly rolling this golden cylinder around on my closed eyelid, the stye ruptured, and the pain was relieved. I sterilized the area and used a teabag to help relieve the swelling. This was only a few hours ago, but the issue is about 75% resolved, and my mood has improved greatly. 

I now somewhat believe in magic.

Why am I telling you all this? I don’t know, I just figured you deserved an explanation for my slow response time. I’m usually right on it when it comes to texting.

Also, please excuse the length of this text. I’m trying an experiment. I’m composing it in my phone’s notepad, and I’ll attempt to copy and paste it, to hopefully avoid sending out mystery words because of Tinder’s tiny, invisible text box.

Here are some links to things I have created, some recently, and some going back as far as 2005, when I used to be able to use ProTools to record some of my original stuff. I’m in a dry spell as far as creating original music these days, so I am mostly doing covers of songs that I liked growing up. 

Some of this stuff is kind of raw, weird, and I don’t know what, exactly. I just figured I’d throw it out there, and you can judge away. 

Let me know if these links don’t work, as sometimes you have to be a member. I’m not sure, but they worked for me.

https://soundcloud.com/user-256645391/sets/hoody-mix

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCN6tc1xxaGw-uU1U_02O5GA

Anyway, hopefully, you will find some of it mildly entertaining, even if it’s not your exact cup of tea. Classical and opera it is not. 

It’s late, so for now, I will bid you a fond goodnight, good morning or afternoon, whichever it is when you receive this.  

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I tried to copy and paste the above text into a tiny message window to send to a girl on Tinder who Superliked me and has texted a couple of times. It didn't send, and try as I might, the little button was grayed out, preventing that lengthy silliness from going forth. Umm...thanks?

I want to say here, for public record, that I must concede that the universe just might know what it's doing after all, and that these things that happen to me are not random, nor are they necessarily punitive or malicious. There just may be some kind of benevolent reason for which these events occur, tragic as they seem at the time to my drama queen sensibilities. Maybe, just maybe. 

I WANT to believe.

The stye really is 75% better, and although there's another one creeping up, it seems quite a bit calmer, and hopefully less painful. The first one was about to drive me to an early grave. No kidding. It was bad. We'll see what tomorrow brings. 

I'll be a good boy. 

Thanks, Universe, and goodnight!