Planning a little trip

I recently took note of the date that I proposed to Sharon. I found it in the digital photo data "date taken." I guess we never really remembered that date, though we never forgot the place or circumstances.

We were beginning our 2002 summer vacation. It was to start in Crescent City and conclude in San Diego. On the way down the coast we would stop at as many lighthouses and breweries as we could cram in. The first night in Crescent city is when I popped the question, on the beach, all bundled up for the cold. I'll never forget her response, "No way!" That was her incredulity talking, not a rejection and she quickly said, "yes."

She had twisted her ankle only days before the trip so she hobbled everywhere we went, but it wasn't going to stop her. We even hobbled around Tijuana and haggled with the shopkeepers and returned with armfuls of souvenirs. That's how determined she was.

I think about that trip, and all of our coast excursions, and of course, it brings me to tears. At one point we considered moving to the coast for her health, and Crescent City was one place on our list. We had so many plans, so many possibilities. Then we moved to Loma Rica and never went on another vacation again. She was too ill to travel, and we were too caught up in things having to do with maintaining the house.

I just keep transporting to these different memories, and all I get is this sad nostalgia. The fact that I will never again do those things with her just keeps hitting me.

I am planning another trip to Crescent City and maybe a couple other places to continue my plan of scattering her ashes on all the beaches we went to. The difficult ones are going to be Bandon, Oregon and San Diego. I just don't know if I have another epic trip like that in me. I have the dogs and cats to think of. The cats would be ok, but I'd need to have someone look after the dogs. Make sure the birds didn't eat all their food.

I may go for 4 days though, because the day of the proposal is within a couple days of our wedding anniversary. I can't see making two trips in one week, but hotels aren't cheap in the summer, either. I'm still planning it. Either way, it's going to be tough. Just like the trip to Fort Bragg last summer.

I can't believe I'm saying last summer already. I will be 11 months on the 15th of Feb. Almost a year. And I am in no better shape than the first week. In many ways, I think I'm worse off.