World's biggest mooch gets the evil eye from Sharon

 

My dream character, played by me, was the world's biggest mooch, or so it appeared to Sharon. I was making myself at home at Bob and Hannelore's place and helping myself to their food on the regular. Sharon gave me the stinkeye when she found me eating the last of the Fruity Crunch cereal, which was her favorite. 

I tried to make myself seem useful by holding a baby, and was somewhat successful in that I managed to quiet it from crying. This earned me partial credit for being more than a sponge of a houseguest. I also attempted to set the table, running into the age old dilemma of which forks to place on the outside, where to put the knives, etc. 

Outside the house was a regulation sized football field, upon which I attempted to unfurl a football field sized flag all by myself. It wasn't too difficult, since the flag was made of a very sheer and lightweight material and had been pre-folded to make the setup a breeze. 

Between holding babies, setting up the dinner table and unfurling giant flags, I still wasn't making much headway with Sharon, but at least we began talking. She went from mad with steam coming out of the ears to just having a civil conversation with me with less strain and tension, but we were a long way from lovey-dovey.  

Interpretation? Well, she used to like me better when I wasn't a lazy sack of shit, but was actively engaged in accomplishing something. I'm currently living the mooch life on disability, doing the minimum basic activities of human existence and not even making the effort to impress anyone by unfurling a flag or having the compassion to comfort a crying baby. 

I could blame circumstances, I guess, but, even in the dream, I found little dumb things to do to make myself useful. And don't eat the last of the Fruity Crunch. That's just odious.