Despite my withdrawing from the marketplace, perhaps because of it, my social stock is not more valued or in demand. I thought I could generate interest in me by making myself less available. Like the limited time offer of "McRibs" or Disney's vaulting of their classic recordings or printing less money. But this strategy isn't really working for me.
Absence doesn't make the heart grow fonder. It makes it forget. I keep hoping someone will notice that I'm not among the living, and am disappointed no one does. I guess I haven't fully disappeared yet. There are traces here and there that I'm still alive, but I'm not sure if they are being noticed, because I get no feedback. I want to scream "I'm still here, you bastards" like Papillon from his prison cell, but I don't have it in me.
I'm still here, but I don't really want to be.
I guess I just want to be missed, but I can't even have that. I want to be loved, but I'm just so damned unloveable.
And it is all my own fault.
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I've changed my comments settings to allow for anyone to comment. All comments are welcome, even spineless potshots from anonymous posters. Please, by all means, give me the tongue lashing I so richly deserve. I promise not to hunt you down and melt your keyboard with my plasma cannon. I won't, however, promise not to pout and make that face you can't stand.