Kaley Cuoco, best Applebee's waitress ever

I didn't want to get out of bed this morning, really, I didn't. Kaley Cuoco from Big Bang Theory and elsewhere was my server at Applebee's and was really going the extra mile in making me feel at home. 

It started in the parking lot, where my mom and Greg were half-heartedly listening to me list a bunch of things that were on my mind. I guess it was a tall order for them to have to listen to, details about wedding plans with Sharon (who was absent but not deceased) and specific things that we wanted on the menu, etc. 

My mom even said, "That is some pretty specific stuff." 

When she said that, I was taken aback. She was supposed to be my mom and supportive and all that. I was getting a "that's too much for me to think about" vibe from her. 

But not Kaley Cuoco. She took my order (and Sharon's, though she wasn't there) and didn't question it, even though I'd ordered the rib platter and the seafood platter, both of which came with an immense amount of french fries. 

She'd possibly learned from Jarod, a waiter who refused to bend one bit when it came to their fries policy and wound up getting us a free meal when Sharon complained that our waiter had told her "no." Can't get fries with the riblet platter? Well, Kaley can make it happen. 

Anyway, I ate as much as I could, and then I wanted to switch tables. As usually happens, she started clearing the table and disposing of the food, thinking that we were all finished. 

"I was going to get that," I told her. 

"No problem, sweetie," she said as if it were nothing at all to reassemble my platter from scratch out of the scraps from my food which had mixed with other customer's food at this point. 

She brought me back a plate that looked just like the original. There was even some nice fresh juicy steak on it, which I hadn't ordered, but I wasn't going to say anything since it was in perfect condition and steaming hot. 

In the process of moving from table to table, I had been in the parking lot using their shuttle van. It was an old mini-van, kind of a cross between an Odyssey and a PT Cruiser. There was no paint on it, as it was in the process of being repainted. The finish was a shiny metallic surface, still needing the dents pounded out, but otherwise ready for primer. 

One of the doors was off and was being used as a serving table. This was where my dinner had wound up when it was on the scrap heap. I took the door and reinstalled it on the van as Kaley reassembled my dinner plate. She was just the bestest, I tell ya. I got the door to slide back and forth, despite its unfinished, dented condition, and was going to move the van approximately ten feet so I could move to my new table. 

Before I was able to jump in, it started moving on its own. Somehow the engine was running, and it was in neutral with no e-brake on, parked on an incline. You know what that was a recipe for. You got it: runaway mini-van parking lot rodeo. 

I chased the van down as it rolled backward in a circle and managed to get in and get control of it, all the while Kaley looking on saying encouraging things like, "you can do it, sweetie. Don't worry, that happens more often than you would think." Such a damn fine waitress. She was so gonna get a big tip. 

Later, with no segue, I was putting together a montage on video of some clips of Sharon and I dressed up in Halloween costumes. She was a sea monster, and I was something else, a Viking, maybe. 

Some of the clips had to be edited to paste Sharon in, because they were re-enactments and she was no longer there. But she was, kinda, as in not deceased, I don't know really. I was able to collaborate with her a little bit about the clips. Kaley was there, too, and of course, still being helpful. This was still somehow a part of her Applebee's job, which she took very seriously. 

At some point Kaley's boyfriend came home bringing a scantily clad dark haired beauty with him. He was shirtless and had a bit of shaving cream on his belly when Kaley walks in. This was a classic "Uh-oh, shit's going to hit the fan" moment. He looked guilty as sin, all shirtless and hosting this dark haired floozy in their apartment. 

But Kaley just says to him, "Hey, babe, how's it goin'?" as cool as a cucumber, as if this kind of thing didn't have to mean what it obviously looked like. Apparently, that kind of thing also happened more often than you might think. 

I wanted to remember this dream, since I was having such a good vibe. And because the bed was so warm, and I had Kaley still waiting on me right up until I was practically awake, I really milked it. But my stomach was rumbling and I had to pee. I worried that I'd forget some of the finer details, but Kaley assured me that she'd stay with me to help me write them down. 

I think because I kept my beanie pulled down tight, my head retained all the necessary warmth to carry dreamland with me downstairs pretty much intact so that I could write this stuff down with little conflation or confabulation on my part. 

I toyed with the idea of bringing a laptop into the bedroom so I could write stuff down and not have to get out of bed. Then I could presumably go back to sleep after jotting down the dream, and hopefully re-enter the sacred realm again easily. 

I decided against it because I really don't want any electronics in that one room at all. I think my dreams are getting far less interference now that I'm sleeping in a darkened room with only moonlight and early morning sunlight to influence my REM cycle. 

It's Saturday and pretty early still for me. 7:30 AM and I've already gotten my dream journaling done. No Facebook or friends on the calendar. What's next? Watch some cartoons? Make breakfast, drink coffee and get high, certainly. Make some noise on the guitar? That might have to wait a little while. 

I know. I'll go poop. Check my email and see what's peeking at me from my inbox tab. Take my turn at Words with Friends with my main opponent, Noaksident. That's about it folks. Maybe I'll spell check Kaley Cuoco and insert some random paragraph breaks.