I got the letter from Social Security today saying they are reviewing my case to determine if I'm still disabled. I am guessing they just want to cut some folks off, and they might as well start with me. I don't know if I was ever truly disabled. I just know that I'm not any better now than when they evaluated me and declared me disabled in March of 2017. I am worse, if anything.
But how I qualified before was mostly due to Sharon's need for a full-time caregiver. Now that she isn't here, they may say, "Back to work, you lazy bastard. Time to quit riding on your wife's gravy train. It's over, move on."
I should have been enjoying this little break, because soon it's going to be back to some shittier version of my life, with a crappy job and less money. Now I have time and money. Then I will have neither. But I've failed to enjoy anything, in the presence or absence of either, so what does it matter. My life sucks either way.
Or I can just sit here and dwindle my limited resources until I die, which isn't seeming to come soon enough. I'd try to hasten it, if I could do it without the pain of the debilitating deterioration process.
Fuck! Now I have one more reason to not sleep at night, worrying about whether I'll lose my income and/or my so-called freedom.
It can always be worse, and it usually is, eventually.
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I've changed my comments settings to allow for anyone to comment. All comments are welcome, even spineless potshots from anonymous posters. Please, by all means, give me the tongue lashing I so richly deserve. I promise not to hunt you down and melt your keyboard with my plasma cannon. I won't, however, promise not to pout and make that face you can't stand.