A Perfect P

 

I meant to say pee, but I didn't want to soil the title with the subject of urination. I thought I'd save that for Line One. So, today I had the perfect pee. Not the pee itself, I mean, that was ok, I guess, I'm not gonna rate it on all of its various aspects. It was the moment itself that was special. It was as if enlightenment was waiting for this particular minute of this particular day to give me the instant Zen realization of why I am here.

I realized, at that instant, that I was there to take that pee, at that moment, and nothing else. Lawnmowing was going on, dogs were sleeping in the shade, birds and butterflies were out and about, in perfect coordination with the breeze and sun and temperature to make the perfect day. 

And I was taking a relaxing, well-timed pee. 

My tired butt was getting it's mandatory 5 minute break from the riding lawnmower. And my responsibilities, at that exact moment, were to do nothing but pee. And listen to the birds. And lawnmowers. And feel the breeze and enjoy the relief of the shade.

That's it. Nothing else mattered. Ever. For the time I was peeing, no thoughts of anything future or past intruded into my consciousness. Just the "now" of a moment's rest and bladder relief. Everything past led up to that moment and there was no future beyond it. 

I wasn't rushing to jump back on the mower. Or planning my next task. Or thinking about lunch or my economic uncertainty. It would take as long as it would take, and that could be forever or it could be 30 more seconds. It didn't matter.

I've met others who have had similar experiences. James, my co-worker at Honda, put it simply, "I love to pee!" Just like that. It was something he could always count on that he was doing the exact right thing, at the exact right time. A guaranteed win. 

My uncle, similarly, said of using the bathroom in general, "It's the only time I know for sure what the fuck I'm doing." 

I have had many pees, some urgently drastic, others fraught with malfunction and misalignment. I won't go into that. But this one was special. I will try to remember to take the moment every time I pee, to give my mind a break and just go.