Dear Dream Lover

Yesterday I went ahead and did what my rational brain tells me was as big, dumb ''WTF!" and attempted to contact my dream lover in in real life though Facebook messenger. And not just to say, "Hello, hi, how'ya been?" No, I decided to tell her that I'd been dreaming of her and just how nice those dreams made me feel.

I went to sleep still anxiously waiting for a response (and kind of dreading what it might be). I put on my magic dreaming rings, Sharon and my wedding bands, and went off to dreamland. And sure enough, my real life crept into my dreams in a fashion. I was anxiously awaiting a reply from her in my dreams, also.

I was in a movie theater just milling about before the movie. I kept checking Facebook for a reply. The reply was going to be put up on the big screen, so there was going to be a bit of embarrassment if she decided to call me on the carpet for my inappropriate message. I had told someone else about it, not sure who, but they were rooting for me as we waited for the moment of truth.

Suddenly, there she is, in the theater, one row in front of me, kind of up behind a railing, with her back to me. I hear her saying something about the message that is going to show up eventually on the screen. 

I say to her, "I'm right here, you can just tell me." I brace for an avalanche of ridicule, but she turns around and extends her hand to me. 

"I really didn't know you felt that way, but I feel the same way too," she tells me, and we interlock fingers. 

I feel the same tingly magic start when this happens, and then she says, "I do think we ought to have a conversation first, though. There's so much we don't know about each other." 

But she smiles at me and it is clear that this is just a formality. She has made up her mind. She puts her arm around me, and I put mine around her as we walk around the theater, introducing one another to our friends.

My uncle was there, in a kind of job reference capacity. I was recounting to her my employment record, giving all sorts of details from the time I moved to Chico and working toward the present day. I spent an inordinate amount of time describing the screen-printing days with Uncle Steve and listening to him tell stories about why the business failed. 

"You see, a tree fell on the house where my shop was, and it took a month for the contractors to fix it. We just couldn't bounce back from that," he said. It was a total fabrication, but I let it slide.

I had forgotten that I had worked for Honda, so I kept stalling with details of my job with the mental facility in Chico, to kind of  pad the resume. Way later in the conversation it came to me in a flash, "Oh, yeah, I was a mechanic for 15 years."

It was going to be ok. We were already discussing logistics and whether I would sell my home or not. She lived in Boston, and I lived here in my same house. I was unattached to this place, I just wanted to be with her.

We went to another area of the theater and saw a bunch of kids playing. They may have been her extended family. I was watching them playing and conking each other over the head and somehow lost track of where my dream lover was. 

I eventually woke up, and here I am. Recounting last nights episode of  Dream Drama and waiting for a reply on Facebook.

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I realize that some people never check their messages, so she may get this at Christmas time or as some other demand of her life forces her to use Messenger. When she does, there will be my oddly timed, completely unsolicited message informing her of her dream activities. Kind of a social time bomb, just waiting for a trigger. Ah, well, my life is boring. I needed to shake things up a bit.

Here's a copy of the message I sent, submitted for you to judge its inappropriate awkwardness:

"Hi, _______.

I hope this isn’t too weird for you, me messaging you privately. I know we haven’t spoken directly in 30+ years. I am kind of awkward at Facebook etiquette and am lacking in the most basic of social skills.

I’m sure that what I am about to say to you will likely come off as completely inappropriate, weird and possibly creepy. At the very least, surprising, as I have never even so much as chatted with you on FB messenger. I hope you will at least find it amusing, flattering or entertaining but not offensive.

So, I’ll get to the meat of it. I have had dreams about you. The first time was last year, during a particularly rough week when I was really feeling the need for a hug. People always talk about sending hugs and all that over the internet, but I never got them.

That is, until I had a dream of you giving me the nicest, warmest hug ever. It was one of those melty-type hugs that penetrate your entire being, give you the warm fuzzies, speed up your heart rate and in general make you feel wonderful. I actually woke up still tingling from it.

How’s that for some out of the blue, random stuff?

But wait, there’s more. A few nights ago, I dreamed of you again. It’s weird, because it’s not like I’ve been obsessing over you in my waking life. You are one of my oldest friends on Facebook, but like I said, we hardly ever interact, so I don’t know where this stuff is coming from. But I have really enjoyed these dreams. This last one was a little more R rated, but it involved the same type of hug.

Anyway, that’s my story. I had to share it with you because I’m old now, and I don’t care how foolish I may appear for going ahead and spilling my guts. It’s probably way weird to hear that someone you went to high school 30+ years ago has been having racy, steamy, dirty old man dreams about you. But there it is there. I hope you can forgive my complete lack of filtering and common sense, but who else was I gonna tell?

Sweet dreams!"