All my channels are distorted except the crappy ones

This goes for my TV, but also my dream channels. I am in a bad state of mind, where everything is just slightly annoying or painful or just plain not right. I have mountains of stuff I should be doing. I feel like doing exactly none of it. Even this writing of my stupid thoughts and feelings seems tedious and unrewarding.

I don't know where to begin. It's too much work. I just want to unplug and quit.

I hate spring. Reminds me of every other false promise made by God. New life? Sharon died last spring. She hadn't been outside to see the green grass in years. The tree that went down on my fence a couple of weeks ago was just putting out new buds. It was promised spring. It was keeping its end of the deal. But now it's just firewood in a burn pile.

I can't keep up with all the things that are trying to show me that life goes on, bursting out of hibernation and reproducing like crazy. Even my own stupid dream hormones, which led to my embarrassing myself with an old high school acquaintance. I'm just an old, mangy dog that needs to go back to hiding under the deck, sleeping and dreaming of death.