I finally got a response from Diane. She said she had simply overlooked her messages and didn't find anything creepy or offensive in what I wrote. I guess that lowers my overall anxiety level a bit.
I don't know why something like that would make me so unbearably uncomfortable. I used to not care what anyone thought, or so I told myself. A perfect sociopath. Now I guess I feel vulnerable to have the slightest sense that I've created a poor opinion of me in someone.
It doesn't help that I make up scenarios, completely out of nothing, in which I am the bad guy. If other people were actually bullying me or ostracizing me, that would be one thing. But I'm doing it to myself and blaming, well, ultimately myself. But I'm imputing guilt and negativity to others in the process.
I feel like I need to be kept in isolation to protect the world from my deranged thinking process. I don't know what kind of rehabilitation is possible to untangle all the mess my mind has gotten into. At least I "fixed" a problem with someone which apparently never existed, except in my head.
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I've changed my comments settings to allow for anyone to comment. All comments are welcome, even spineless potshots from anonymous posters. Please, by all means, give me the tongue lashing I so richly deserve. I promise not to hunt you down and melt your keyboard with my plasma cannon. I won't, however, promise not to pout and make that face you can't stand.