"Never assume," Sharon always told me. It was a catch-all bit of advice that usually meant things could be worse than you might assume, so always make certain before giving something the stamp of approval.
It works in reverse, too. Sometimes you are certain something is going to be terrible, and it turns out to only be so-so.
Like this sink project. I assumed it was the shutoff valve because it only became wet after turning it off and then back on. When I put a camera in the back of it and blindly shot a photo, I could see that the problem was starting at the hose fitting and leaking onto the valve. I replaced the hose and the faucet washer and am doing an extensive leak test while drying out the area for the next few days. So far, it is a successful fix.
People are a bit harder to figure out. I guess I usually assume that people are thinking the worst about me. The case of Diane has been bugging me for several months, so I decided to not just assume anymore and bit the bullet by messaging her and asking her directly.
Unfortunately, as well crafted as I thought my inquiry was (I type these things out in Word first before committing to Facebook Messenger) I think I may have made things worse, which was my fear going into it. I accidentally copy/pasted twice what was already bordering on an embarrassingly long message and the result was a mangled wall of text. She probably read part way through and is thinking, "Holy fuck, what a nutjob!" If I never hear back from her this time around, that is what I'm going to assume.
I am now sitting here, pissed off at myself and ashamed that my social and critical thinking skills are so lacking. Back to withdrawing from the world. I was gonna attempt a better version of myself for the new year and this is how I start off? I'm certain that if I go ahead and try to tackle my other gnawing issue (the one requiring nuclear codes) I will fuck that up, too. Why bother?
Enjoy the uneasy peace while my defenses are at an all time low. I assume my petty problems and little tantrums are providing some minimal entertainment value to my silent readers.
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I've changed my comments settings to allow for anyone to comment. All comments are welcome, even spineless potshots from anonymous posters. Please, by all means, give me the tongue lashing I so richly deserve. I promise not to hunt you down and melt your keyboard with my plasma cannon. I won't, however, promise not to pout and make that face you can't stand.